


Moments of After War: Soldiers

by mmmdraco



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-27
Updated: 2012-07-27
Packaged: 2017-11-10 21:18:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 28,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/470791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mmmdraco/pseuds/mmmdraco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When every day brings silence instead of screams, they have to find something new to fill it with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. On A Summer's Day

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah.

"Heero?" Trowa called out the door of the hangar to where another boy was scrubbing oil off of his hands with industrial strength hand cleanser, running a hose to rinse the oil and cleanser off.

Looking up, Heero smiled slightly and began to shake off his hands. "Hey, Trowa. Got a towel?"

Trowa glanced at the towel on his shoulder, then back at Heero, admiring the way the sunlight glinted off of his hair and the water droplets that had made their way to his bare shoulders and molded pectorals, dripping down his defined abdomen to collect along the edge of his shorts. "You can use this one. There's a bit of oil on it, but nothing you can't find your way around."

Walking over, Heero plucked the towel off of Trowa's shoulder and began to rigorously rub ever inch of water-inflicted skin. Finally dry, he tossed the towel back to Trowa. "Thanks." He turned around, letting the warm sun caress him. "It's a great day out, isn't it?"

Trowa walked forth, hands wringing at the towel slightly, pulling threads from an already frayed edge. "I guess. It's almost a bit too hot, though. I'm not really fond of warm weather. I *like* wearing long sleeves."

Heero laughed only momentarily. "It's not aerodynamic. But, on our cold missions, there's not much I wouldn't give for something longer that keeps me a bit warmer."

The taller boy merely nodded, his eyes focused on a hawk circling in the sky. "Heero... do you ever wonder how long this will last?" He looked down to his fellow Gundam pilot. "The war, I mean."

Briefly looking into the hangar, Heero motioned for Trowa to follow him. He led the way to a small grassy knoll and spread himself out on the ground, his arms behind his head as a functional, if not comfortable, pillow. Trowa settled down next to him, his arms wrapped around his knees, pulling them to his chest, letting his chin rest on one knee, awaiting his answer. "I think that it will all be over, soon. The way we fight, it all has to end soon. OZ can't support enough soldiers at any given time to be a true threat against the Gundams. The Romafeller Foundation is about to collapse, and OZ will go with it. Any remaining factions will die out shortly thereafter. No matter what, we will be the victors. Though, I think we've got more to worry about as far as what will happen after the war."

Trowa raised his head slightly. "What do you mean?"

"I mean... Well, I always wanted a relationship. When I was only a young boy, I was sent to a daycare for a few weeks. There was a charming little boy there. Knowing only that I liked him, I began to pick flowers for him, bringing him spent ammunition shells that still smelled of gunpowder, telling him all the things my... father, trainer... whomever he was...had said to the women he brought home. I even kissed him behind a tree at recess one day. But, the day after that, I was pulled away by Odin to move away. I never went to a daycare again. I was too busy with target practice and learning how to hack computers and mix chemicals. I thought, at first, that I was being punished for kissing that other little boy and that's why I couldn't have a relationship. I didn't realize that I was wrong until I no longer had an opportunity to be a stupid kid and *have* a relationship."

Trowa broke in, "So, that's why you have Relena now?"

Heero snorted. "No. I have Relena because *she* wants a relationship and because I have reasons that I can't kill her. She's still innocent and naive, and she's a chance at peace. There's another reason, too. I might tell you someday, but not now."

"So, if Relena wasn't so... overbearing, I suppose... would you consider her for a relationship? Not during the war, though."

Heero's laugh lasted a good minute. "No. No, I wouldn't want a relationship with Relena even if she were the embodiment of everything good that a female could be."

"Why not?" Trowa turned his shoe in the dry dirt that peeked up from between two patches of grass.

Clearing his throat, Heero sat up, clutching his own knees. "I don't like women like that. Not even in those few weeks of daycare." He smiled briefly and rose from the ground, dusting off his shorts before walking away.

Trowa reached out a hand after him, but stopped. "Heero?"

Heero paused and turned back to him. "Yes?"

Standing up, Trowa dusted off his jeans and grinned what might have been called rakishly. "I actually came out here to tell you that Relena had called. But, I suppose you'd rather not talk to her even if she were the perfect female. Just so you know, me either."

Perfectly still, Heero blinked, then let one corner of his mouth rise in a pale imitation of the unguarded smiles he occasionally let show through. "I'll keep that in mind." He turned to go again, but stopped himself, looking Trowa in the eye. "I'm getting sort of hungry. I figured I'd go in after a bit and make something to eat. Do you want anything?"

Trowa shook his head, glancing at the ground. "Thanks, Heero. But, I don't need you to do that."

Heero shrugged. "I just figured that since everything I've ever been taught to make was enough for two people, I'd ask. I wouldn't want to waste the food."

Biting his lip casually, Trowa walked closer. "Well, in that case, I guess it would be fine." He let a moment of silence flow between them before continuing. "I'm going to go work on Heavyarms a bit more. Let me know when you're going in so I can start getting everything closed up, will you?"

His response was a curt, "Certainly," and a somewhat smug grin.

Heero walked off, leaving Trowa to absorb the warm sun that had gone unnoticed in his time of conversation. When Heero had retreated into the hangar, Trowa smiled, tucking a stray lock of hair behind his ear. "Dinner..." Shaking his head, he made a final remark, "What's next, a movie?" before following Heero, pushing his sleeves up as he went.


	2. Eres Tu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah. 
> 
> "Eres Tu" is by Mosedades. The badly done translation is by me.
> 
> ~lyrics~

~Como una promesa, eres tu eres tu~  
~Como una mañana de verano~  
~Como una sonrisa, eres tu, eres tu~  
~Así, así eres tu~

 

[Like a promise, you are, you are,  
Like a summer's tomorrow,  
Like a smile, you are, you are,   
Thus, thus, you are.]

I fell in love with Trowa over a casual few months. We spent so much time together after the wars, just recovering and holding on to one another. The wars ended. Quatre went back to his family, Duo went to Hilde and they started up a salvage yard; always happier as friends than romantic partners. Wufei spent a year teaching martial arts, then met up with Sally at a party and now they're married. Quatre ended up married to a girl he met on L-4. I find it amusing: she looks like Dorothy with non-lethal eyebrows, enjoys fencing... her name is August. Quatre's taken to calling her his favorite centerfold. She blushes at the notion, but seems to enjoy it just the same. Duo hasn't found anyone romantically, and last I heard, he wasn't looking. Wufei and Sally? He teaches martial arts still, but it's to his own kids, and some of the new recruits with the Preventers. They're a bit of a pseudo-militant family. Wufei's first kid, Meilan... he dotes on her almost more than he dotes on Sally.

While all of this was going on, I was on Earth. I spent about a week trying to start a new life completely, but I knew something was missing. I got so bent out of shape trying to figure out what exactly was absent from my life that I went to Relena. We sat and drank tea in one of her gardens for hours. The wars aged her mentally; doing her a lot of good. She's a world leader. She needs to be level-headed. 

We discussed all the different aspects of my life. She came to the conclusion that I needed to be around people that I knew. I remember glancing at her expectantly, and her shaking her head, saying, "No, Heero. You need to help someone else to help you. Who's someone you know who's going through the same thing?"

It took me a moment to realize it, but I did. Trowa. He'd gone back to the circus, but Catherine had only been there with him for a day or two before letting Trowa know that she was married and moving to L-4 as soon as Rashid got out of the hospital from where he and Abdul had fought over her. I found the whole scene a bit amusing, but I headed to L-3 the next day. I found out where the circus was performing, went there, and caught the show. I don't think I'd ever seen Trowa's eyes look so dead before. Everything else was the same as I remembered it, but his eyes... They haunted me during the rest of the performance. When it was over, I found myself wandering toward his dressing room, something very unusual for me. I don't wander. I have goals, and I go for them. But, then, I *was* wandering. It was what was right at the time.

 

~Toda mi esperanza, eres tu, eres tu~  
~Como lluvia fresca en mis manos~  
~Como fuerte brisa, eres tu, eres tu~  
~Así, así eres tu~

 

[All my hope, you are, you are,   
Like fresh rain in my hands,  
Like a strong breeze, you are, you are,   
Thus, thus, you are.]

He was in his dressing room, sitting leaned back in a chair with one foot propped up against the dressing table next to a jar of rubber cement and a hair brush. He was in pants, boots, and suspenders, gazing down at his half mask in his hand. When I walked in, he didn't look up. He only traced the edge of the mask with his thumb and spoke softly. "I find it somewhat amusing that when I wear this mask, half of we is happy and the other half is sad." His finger traced along the upward curve of the mouth of the mask. "I assume you're the same only, only you don't have a mask that you have to put on with rubber cement."

I nodded, and he nodded back. We were always rather quiet people. We had to be. If it wasn't a mission, it was a disguise, and somehow we both knew we had to get through it for some reason or another.

 

~Eres tu como el agua de mi fuente (algo así eres tu )~  
~Eres tu el fuego de mi hogar~  
~Eres tu como el fuego de mi hoguera~  
~Eres tu el trigo de mi pan~

 

[You are the water of my source (something, thus, you are)   
You are the fire of my home,   
You are the fire of my bonfire,   
You are the wheat of my bread.]

Somehow, when I went to leave that night, he came with me. We found a hotel, stayed there for the night sharing a bed without asking questions and making comments, and the next morning, we found our way back to Earth on a shuttle. We talked the whole time, oddly never strained for a conversation topic. I never even asked if he would leave. He just knew, just as he always knows.

We muddled into friendship, then into best friendship, then into a period where neither of us were sure of what we were doing, then into love. We moved in together as friends, but at the time, I think we were already more. Before Trowa, I was never comfortable with people clinging on to me. Perhaps it was a sort of claustrophobia, but it ended with him. There aren't many people who I let close to me physically, now. But, even back as just friends, Trowa... He could brush my hair out of my eyes when I was fixing things and typing and such, and I never minding. His touch felt good, and it scared me for a bit. I even ran to Relena again to ask her about it.

Yes, I realize the irony in getting relationship help from a girl who stalked me. But, she's... I don't know. She's grown up, and I trust her now. Besides, I have to hand it to her. She helped me land the guy of my dreams when I didn't even know who the guy of my dreams was. 

 

~Como mi poema, eres tu, eres tu~  
~Como una guitarra en la noche~  
~Todo mi horizonte eres tu, eres tu~  
~Así, así eres tu~

 

[Like a poem, you are, you are,   
Like a guitar at night,  
All my horizons, you are, you are,   
Thus, thus you are.]

I was jealous of my friends for a while. They were starting families, and I had only just found a best friend at that point. But, things picked up. Somehow, over a cup of coffee, we decided to move in together. We spent a good 18 hours of the day together, and our apartments were really similar, and both had extra bedrooms. We made a bet about it... on a football game.

In the middle of the game, with my chosen team losing, we were talking about it, and I realized that I didn't care if it was my place or his. My apartment wasn't home. But, I did convince him to let me bring my pool table. It was the one thing I had actually bought that wasn't form over function, only because I needed it, not because I wanted it. The pool table was the one thing I consciously wanted, and I got it. Trowa was what I unconsciously wanted. And, lucky me, I got that, too.

Since then, we've been fumbling a bit. Not enough that we can't enjoy it, but enough that we've had a few rough spots. But, I can't stay away, and neither can he. Either the sex is just that amazing, or we really do love each other. I'm thinking it's the latter, though the former is definitely true. 

So, we're all happy. Duo still hasn't found the love of his life, according to him, but I think he just doesn't realize it. I think I might have to get him to have a talk with Relena.

And that's how we've ended up. I have a lover; someone to love. The words still sound foreign on my tongue, but that will change with time. I know I have.

 

~Eres tu como el agua de mi fuente (algo así eres tu )~  
~Eres tu el fuego de mi hogar~  
~Eres tu como el fuego de mi hoguera~  
~Eres tu el trigo de mi pan.~

 

[You are the water of my source (something, thus, you are)   
You are the fire of my home,   
You are the fire of my bonfire,   
You are the wheat of my bread.]

Trowa is everything to me, now. Even my pool table... well, it still has sentimental value, only more so now because that's where Trowa and I shared our first kiss. I don't think he knows that when he's not home, I sit there, right on the felt, and remember how it all came together. And I remember all the good things and I smile.

He quit telling me that I needed to smile more shortly after I moved in. At that point, everything he did made me smile. We'd go to the gym and box together, and even after he got in a good blow, I'd still be smiling. I smile because of him, and I laugh because of him, and I like to think he does the same because of me. And, I'm glad.

We don't have to tell each other, "I love you." The first dozen times we tried, one of us always cut the other off with, "I know." When we finally did say it, we laughed.

I don't know how I got things so good, but I'm lucky. And, every time I even think of him, I realize just how lucky I am.

Trowa, everything good that I've ever known; that's what you are.


	3. Crazy 'Bout Ya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah. 
> 
> "Crazy 'Bout Ya" is by Cowboy Mouth.
> 
> ~lyrics~

~Mardi Gras lights up the city~  
~Winter rain is coming down~  
~Never seen anyone look as lovely as you do right now~  
~Hear the marching band behind us~  
~See the bright lights up ahead~  
~There's nowhere in the world I know I'd rather be right instead~

Trowa watched the parade in front of him, smiling softly as the acrobats on the float climbed to the top of the float and flipped over the power lines as they passed. His friend, Heero, stood next to him, chewing on a salt-cured sourdough pretzel as though it were made of leather. "Hn. Parades are so pointless."

Smiling a bit more, Trowa turned to his friend and yanked the pretzel out of his mouth. "No, they're not. It's a celebration that the war is over. Eat your pretzel." He shoved it back in Heero's mouth and turned back toward the parade, admiring the next float.

Heero gnawed on his pretzel a bit, then decisively reached up a hand and turned Trowa's face toward his own, pushing the hair away from his face. His lips quirked into a smile of his own. "These pretzels suck. There's not enough salt, and they've been cooked too long."

Looking at his friend, and leaning slightly toward the hand that still held him, Trowa stuck out his tongue, and shot out his arms to tickle Heero's sides, the boy's one uncontrollable weakness. Heero laughed and dropped his pretzel, trying to tickle back.

The parade continued on, a marching band playing a rousing victory theme in their passing.

 

~'Cause I'm crazy 'bout ya~  
~Crazy 'bout ya, crazy 'bout the way you do~  
~Crazy 'bout ya, crazy 'bout ya~  
~If you're stealing the world then steal me too~  
~If you're stealing my heart then steal me too~

The refrigerator door opened, filling the kitchen with the faintest glow of light. Trowa quirked an eyebrow at noticing Heero sitting in the window seat, gazing up at the stars. Grabbing the jar of pickles off of the top shelf, he kicked on the night light with his foot, shut the fridge and walked over to sit next to Heero, the belt on his bathrobe catching under him so he had to wriggle to adjust to a comfortable position. "What are you still doing up?"

Heero shrugged, glancing down at his knee. "I couldn't sleep."

"Does stargazing make you sleepy?" Trowa opened the jar, plucking out a pickle and letting the juice drip off of it, shaking it a bit before recapping the jar and taking a bite.

"I don't know. I've never done it before." Heero leaned forward and grabbed the jar, opening it and grabbing a pickle, beating it against the sides of the jar. "I never really had the time, the patience, or the opportunity." He took a bite of the pickle and made a face. "Ugh. What are these?"

Trowa laughed. "It's brine-soaked cucumbers. They take a little getting used to for some people. Others just hate them. Then again, you might just have a bad pickle. It happens." He leaned his head against the window. "Do you always like to try new things?"

Heero leaned his head against the window as well. "I figure that I might as well. I'm not going to die without a reason. And, if I'm meant to die eating a pickle, so be it."

Taking another bite of his pickle, Trowa smiled. "I wouldn't let you die eating a pickle."

Heero smiled back. "I didn't think so."

 

~Lord I wish I'd been a painter~  
~Draping colors from the sky~  
~Bathing your shoulders in iridescence~  
~Wrapped around your sigh~  
~How I long to hear your laughter~  
~How I long to see you smile~  
~Painting your soul in the everafter~  
~For a little while~

Trowa sighed happily as the warm sun bathed his shoulders. "Thank you, Heero."

Heero looked up from trying to assemble a plastic oar. "Hm? What for?"

"For taking me out on the lake. I've been working too hard lately, and I needed the break. No one else seemed to recognize it, but you did. So, thanks."

Finally getting the oar properly adjusted, Heero threw it in the heavy-duty yellow raft. "It's been too long since I've seen you laugh or smile. That's how I knew. And, I was coming out here anyway to swim. Even if you hadn't been stressed out, I would have invited you. You're... my best friend."

Trowa smiled. "And, you're my best friend." Biting his lip, he embraced Heero in a quick hug, then pulled back, walking quickly to the other side of the raft. "I suppose you need me to help you get this in the water." He laughed. "What am I saying? You could throw your truck in the river if you tried."

Heero grabbed one handle on the raft. "But, now I've seen you laugh, and smile, and you hugged me. Maybe I'm too weak in the knees to get the raft in all by itself."

Grabbing a handle on his own side, Trowa stuck out his tongue. "Yeah, well, you keep smiling at me. Maybe *I'm* too weak in the knees to help."

"So, how 'bout we just toss the damn thing in already?" Trowa nodded, and they hefted the raft up and set it in the water, helping each other in and rowing off to the middle of the lake, laughing and enjoying each other's company. 

 

~'Cause I'm crazy 'bout ya~  
~Crazy 'bout ya, crazy 'bout the way you do~  
~Crazy 'bout ya, crazy 'bout ya~  
~If you're stealing the world then steal me too~  
~If you're stealing my heart then steal me too~

"You've never had coffee?"

Trowa shook his head. "Nope. Never bothered."

Heero rolled his eyes and motioned to the waitress at the other end of the counter, drying plates. When she came over, dishrag still in hand, Heero said, "Can you get this man a cup of coffee? I need to get him addicted."

The woman, graying hair pulled back in a ponytail, deep laugh lines around her eyes and mouth, cigarette-stained teeth unveiled with a wide smile, voice deep and vodka-drenched. "Sure thing, sweetie. Comin' right up."

Giving his friend a glare, Trowa leaned forward. "You actually want me to try something that you often describe as sludge?"

Heero laughed. "That's just at work. It seems like no one at our company can make a decent cup of joe."

Trowa raised an eyebrow. "Joe? What..." He trailed off as their waitress, wearing a shirt that bore the name Margaret, set a mug of steaming brown liquid in front of him. Trowa sniffed at it, then pulled the mug closer. "Well, it smells okay, I guess." He took a tentative sip. "Ah! Hot!" He reached past Heero and grabbed his glass of water with lemon, taking a few big gulps. Setting the glass down, he coughed. "I think I just swallowed a seed."

Laughing, Heero shook his head. "Try adding some cream. If you don't like it, sugar. You got me to like pickles, I can get you to like coffee."

Skeptical, Trowa did add cream, and poured a bit of sugar from the dispenser on the counter into his mug, looking around for a spoon. Not finding one, he grabbed Heero's knife and stirred it with the end that didn't have butter on it. He lifted the cup to his lips again, but blew gently on the liquid, his lips pursed loosely. Wincing slightly, he took another sip. Seemingly surprised, he open his eyes, setting down his cup. He swished the coffee around in his mouth, then swallowed. "Well, it's not completely awful, but... eh, it'll take some getting used to."

Heero poked his friend with his fork and shook his head. "What am I ever going to do with you?"

 

~What does the mask you're wearing mean to me~  
~It's funny that what you pretend to be~  
~Is real to me~

Trowa wrinkled his nose as it began to rain. "Why did it have to do this at a football game? They don't even have some sort of cover."

Heero shrugged and tried to cover his popcorn. "I don't know. Maybe because it decided your hair was too fluffy today and it needed to get back in your eyes where you always keep it."

Glaring at Heero, Trowa filched a handful of popcorn. "It's not my fault my hair naturally goes this way."

Heero glared right back, stealing Trowa's soda for a quick sip since he hadn't bought one of his own. "It's your fault it's so long in the front."

"I like it that way. Watch the game. Your colony is losing to mine."

Heero looked over at the score board. Sure enough, the L-1 Wolfpack were losing 0-16 to the L-3 Lions. He whispered, "I like your hair like that, too." Clearing his throat, he looked back at Trowa who seemed to be staring at his feet. "What was our bet on this game?"

Trowa took a sip of his soda. "It's to see whose apartment we'll move into. L-1 wins, I move into your place. L-3 wins, you move into mine. I get the feeling I'll have to vacuum out the guest room."

After pushing his hair out of his eyes, Heero nudged Trowa with his elbow. "We wouldn't even have had this bet if you didn't have a pool in your complex. Because, we both know my game room is better."

Trowa, looking over at his friend, hesitantly pushed his own hair back a little. "You do know that there's an arcade and billiard bar behind my place, right?"

Heero coughed. "Actually, no. But, I like my pool table!"

Shaking his head and wrinkling his nose at the rain that continued to pour down at such a pace that it annoyed him, Trowa laughed. "You just like it because you have sex fantasies about doing it on a pool table."

There was a pause. "So?"

Trowa arched an eyebrow. "That's priceless. But, oh, I guess the living room is big enough." I can move the TV into the corner."

"Hmph. I like your TV just where it is. The couch can move forward and we'll have plenty of room." Heero continued to eat his popcorn, looking as though he had it all stuffed in his inside coat pocket.

"Awful bossy, aren't you?" Trowa smiled and sat back a little, finally enjoying the raindrops whispering against his skin. "Yeah. I guess the couch can move."

 

~Drops of rain cascading gently~  
~Splashing off your laughing eyes~  
~People may come and go~  
~But the truly great moments survive~

Moving Trowa's couch forward, Heero turned around, using his hands to give himself a mental guide about where the pool table could go. Nodding abruptly, he walked out the door. A moment later, he walked back in the room. "Hey, Trowa, do you have a bag?" All he could hear was Trowa vacuuming in the next room. Making a face, Heero walked back out into the hall where his pool table was sitting. Pulling his tank top out, he began loading the cue ball, the solids and the stripes into his shirt. He walked back into the room with them just as Trowa walked out of Heero's new bedroom wheeling along a vacuum that seemed to be spewing smoke.

Trowa took one glimpse of Heero, his shirt filled with pool balls, his washboard abs revealed, and blinked in confusion. "Heero... uh, nice abs. How about I take those balls from you before you get hurt?"

Heero burst out laughing, the three ball falling out of his shirt and onto the carpet, rolling along until it hit Trowa's foot. "Sorry, Tro, let me just go put these on the couch, then you can help me with the table."

Picking up the ball at his foot, Trowa walked over to the couch and leaned over the back, setting it next to the one. "I'm glad we're friends, Heero. And, I'm glad you moved in."

Looking up and seeing the way Trowa's eyes shone, Heero dumped the rest of the balls out of his shirt rather than placing each one on the couch. "I'm glad too. I... I... you know."

Smirking, Trowa looked down at the back of the couch, absently picking at the upholstry. He reached up to scratch his shoulder. "Yeah. Me too. Let's... go get that table."

 

~'Cause I am crazy 'bout ya~  
~Crazy 'bout ya, crazy 'bout the way you do~  
~Crazy 'bout ya, crazy 'bout ya~  
~If you're stealing the world then steal me too~  
~If you're stealing my heart then steal me too~  
~If you're looking for love there's no other...~

Wrapped in the new bathrobe that Heero had given him for Christmas, Trowa took his cup of coffee and walked through to the living room. Seeing the pool table, he smiled, thinking about how hard it had been to get it into the room. Walking over to it, he gave the felt covering on it a caress before setting his coffee down on one side and hauling himself onto it, his slippered feet dangling in the moonlight.

A moment later, the bathroom door creaked open, and Heero exited. Turning to hit the switch, he spotted Trowa. Flicking off the light, he tied up his own bathrobe and moved over to Trowa, moving the cup of coffee further back before sitting down next to him, silent. He leaned his head against Trowa's shoulder and clasped his hands in front of him, kicking his bare feet gently through the air.

Trowa smiled and leaned his head over, laying it on top of Heero's. "You know."

Heero nodded softly. "You do, too."

"Hmm." Trowa's smile grew wider. "So, what's this about your sex fantasy on a pool table?"

Heero smirked. "Yeah, he is."

Trowa raised an eyebrow. "Wow. What a coincidence. Mine is too."

Pulling away, Heero scooted back on the table, pulling his feet up to rest on the edge. "Trowa... are you... I don't know... okay with this?"

Scooting back further himself, Trowa nodded, turning toward Heero. "Yeah. I mean, hey, you're not the only one who tries new things."

Staring at Trowa's bottom lip, Heero felt himself lean a bit closer. "Somehow I doubt I'm going to die from a kiss."

Before leaning in to close the distance between them to a mere fraction of a centimeter, Trowa murmured, "No more than you did from the pickle, and I did from the coffee."

Eye closed, they rushed forward the last little bit, yelping as their lips smashed against their teeth, but not abandoning the effort. The kiss was soft, sweet, and mostly chaste, their hands eventually reaching up to stroke the other's neck and hair, their strong jawlines, and closed eyelids.

A cup of coffee cooled behind them.

Finally pulling away, Heero smiled. "I..."

Trowa nuzzled against him. "I know." He kissed him gently. "Trust me, I know."


	4. Not-So-Under Cover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah.

Quatre took a deep breath and knocked on the door to apartment number 143. There was a noise in the apartment like someone dropping a bowling ball, then a lot of rustling and more loud noises, including a couple shouts. A moment later, the door to the apartment opened and Heero appeared, mostly composed, wearing a white tuxedo shirt, a bow tie, and an angry smile. "Hello, Quatre. What the hell brings you to our apartment this fine evening?"

Stepping up a bit, Quatre leaned against the doorframe. "Just had a couple of things to ask. Hey, Heero, nice shirt. You going out some place?" He looked down, then blinked. He cocked his head to one side, then blinked again. He blushed furiously, then looked up, his chin tilted up as if to keep him from looking down again. "Um, Heero, you're not wearing any pants."

Heero's eyes widened and he looked down, then covered his lower half. Pants weren't the only thing he wasn't wearing. "Trowa!"

A moment later, Trowa appeared in a fluffy emerald green bathrobe and a black top hat. Heero immediately ducked behind the taller man and slid his arms around Trowa's waist.

Trowa gently trailed his fingertips along Heero's hands and smiled to Quatre warmly. "Hi. You interrupted something that has a position much like this. If you'd be so kind as to come back later, as in tomorrow before nightfall... but after lunch... we'd appreciate it."

Heero peeked out from behind Trowa's arm. "Yeah. I was quite happy with the position you interrupted, too. It was one we hadn't tried before. Leave, now, please?"

The Death Glare was enough to make anyone run away, So, Quatre backed away from the doorway and smiled. "Sure. Tomorrow. Bye!" The door slammed shut and more loud noises and yells could be heard behind the apartment door only a moment later. There was a scraping, then another loud bump, followed by another dozen or so smaller thumps.

Quatre nodded. "Heero was helping Trowa move the pool table, wasn't he?"

As he walked down the hallway, he pulled a folded piece of paper from his pocket. "This is the last time I sell Girl Scout Cookies and Appliances door-to-door for my sisters. Maybe I can get Heero and Trowa to take order forms to work..." He paused. "No. Who knows what kind of mysterious stains they'd get on them? How Heero manages to spill cream from his coffee on almost every document I give him is beyond me. Though, he and Trowa *do* drink a lot of coffee..."

Quatre paused. "Hey, I wonder if Wufei wants to buy some cookies. He needs a new toaster, anyway. His little girl poured cake mix and ketchup in the last one... Oh, I hope she hasn't joined the Girl Scouts yet!"

Racing off, Quatre never heard Trowa groan loudly in the apartment, then say a moment later, "Do you think Quatre will take the cream excuse one more time about this party RSVP?"


	5. Take Me Tengai (Beyond the Heavens)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah.

"Heero..." Pressed firmly against a door, his shirt unbuttoned and neck being thoroughly kissed, Trowa moaned the name of the man treating him in such a delicious way. His wrists braced against the doorframe, Trowa thrust his hips forward a bit, trying to urge Heero to move his mouth a few feet lower. "Mmm... c'mon already!"

Suddenly, the door flew open, and Trowa dropped to the floor, banging his head on the opening door, Heero landing heavily on top of him. When his head stopped pounding like a jackhammer, he opened his eyes and looked up. Quatre was leaning over him, pointing. "Hey, Trowa? Your room is one more down. Just thought you'd like to know."

Before Quatre's words could register in his mind, Trowa found himself being hauled up onto Heero's shoulder, one calloused hand stroking the skin just above the waistband of his pants. As they turned the corner, Trowa happened to glance at the bed, and could have sworn he saw Dorothy and Relena with Quatre headed toward them in only a pair of boxers. Shaking his head, Trowa suddenly found himself pressed against another door, one of Heero's knees pressed between his thighs as the other man fumbled with the key to the room. Slightly exasperated, Trowa grabbed the keycard, shoved it into the slot, and twisted open the door, pulling Heero into the room by his necktie. Tossing the key onto the table by the door, he kicked the door shut, toed off his shoes, and pushed Heero toward the bed.

They fell onto the bed side-by-side, mouths connecting in a vicious passion. Hasty hands made rather quick work of their clothing, each piece flying haphazardly through the air, one of Heero's shoes landing in the fish tank, Trowa's boxers catching on the ceiling fan, Heero's belt buckle cracking the glass covering some painting of a gaunt blue hand reaching for a cup of coffee and a buttered croissant; the usual dance of desire. When Heero, eyes shut tight to avoid getting poked by either his or Trowa's hair, realized that he was naked, and his roaming hands no longer found stitch or seam on Trowa, he pushed his lover further onto the bed and slid on top of him, one knee pressed very firmly between two taut thighs while one hand fumbled around in the nightstand for lubricant.

Moaning softly as Heero's knee began to move, Trowa pushed him away slightly, and grabbed the well-loved tube, uncapping it before handing it to Heero. "How is it that all of your manual dexterity goes out the window when you wanna fuck?"

Heero, squeezing a bit of lubricant onto his fingers and tossing the tube behind him, where it hit the television and left a line of the gel down the screen, proceeded to attack Trowa's mouth for a moment before pulling back to answer. "Maybe because I just wanna fuck when you do, and you distract me something awful."

Trowa smiled. "I hardly ever do anything! You're the one fumbling and grunting and thrusting and trying to get into my pants before I can get out of them. How am I to blame?"

Heero trailed a thumb down the inside of Trowa's thigh, causing him to spread his legs wider. "It's the noises, and the little reactions, and the fact that I can't resist you. I see you, and the only thing I want is your ass."

Legs opening wider still as Heero moved his fingers closer to his goal, Trowa moaned. "Oh, sure! And, here I was thinking you wanted me in your bed for my scintillating conversation skills... oh, yeah, right there..."

"Is that scintillating? Hmm... yeah." Fingers teasing gently at Trowa's entrance, Heero moved down the bed a bit, nipping down Trowa's abdomen and delighting in the way the muscles tensed beneath his lips. When he felt Trowa's arousal rubbing against his neck, he cuddled it in the crook between his neck and his shoulder, then leaned to one side to turn his head down and casually lick at the head of the proof of Trowa's passion. Trowa moaned, and wriggled deliciously.

When Trowa stopped writhing, Heero slid one finger into him, casually planting rather chaste kisses on his cock. Trowa's gently spread legs tensed a bit, and he pulled them up so that his knees were pointing into the air, and his feet were planted solidly on the bedspread. Heero nibbled along the inside of one thigh while continuing to prepare Trowa, a second finger sliding in easily next to the first, and let his not-so-busy hand trail down the length of Trowa's calf to grasp lightly at the heel and pull it up and over Heero's shoulder, the hand going to rest softly on Trowa's knee. 

A third finger went to work stretching Trowa, and Heero began to suckle gently at the head of Trowa's member, almost grinning at the way his partner reacted to the sensations running through him. When Heero pulled away for a moment to lick his lips, Trowa reached down and tangled a hand in his lover's hair, pulling him up to meet him eye to eye. "If you don't fuck me now, I'm making sure you have blue balls for a week." The threat was met with a grin as Heero removed his fingers, handled his cock for a brief moment to wipe off the remaining lube on his fingers, and slammed into Trowa to the hilt.

Trowa gasped, delighting in the sensations. Almost immediately, he let his leg drop off Heero's shoulder to tangle around his back while he snaked his hands under Heero's arms to claw at his back. "Damn it, this isn't fucking. Don't just lay there, lay me!"

Heero blinked. "You get an awful filthy mouth when you want to get fucked. You sure I shouldn't give you some sort of punishment for that?"

"Blue balls. I *can* make it happen. Two weeks. *And* I'll force you to look at naked pictures of Duke Dermail on a cold day." At the look on Heero's face, Trowa bucked his hips lightly. "Gonna fuck me? Or gonna go without for... three weeks?"

Heero immediately pulled out a bit, and slammed it home again. "How's that?"

Trowa nodded. "Good, good. Surprisingly good. Now, keep going." Heero picked up the pace, leaning close to Trowa and continuing to explore his upper torso and neck with his mouth.

With a moan, Heero pushed Trowa's legs back onto his shoulders and held him firmly at the knees, rising up onto his own knees and beginning to thrust harder. Trowa gasped and moaned and writhed, becoming a being of only sound and movement on the outside as his internal being was threatened with torturous pleasure. "Ah, Heero! Harder, faster, damn it, fuckin' hell, kisama, kuso, bakayaro, shimatta, hot damn, more!"

Heero grinned and leaned in, pressing Trowa's knees on either side of his head. "Such a filthy mouth." With that, he proceeded to kiss Trowa fiercely, his tongue tangling with his lover's while he slammed into him.

They both knew that their orgasms were fast approaching, so their movements became more harried and jarring. Heero threw his strength into every powerful thrust and Trowa took it all with a happy curse and a clench of his fists around whatever he could get his hands on. As Heero's grip tightened on his knees, and he began to piston like an engine, Trowa wrapped a hand around his own arousal, tugging at it while he gripped at the headboard behind him. "Oh, fuck... oh, fuck... oh, fuck.... oh, damn!" Trowa continued his mantra of cursing while arching his back, feeling Heero beginning to pulse inside of him. He shut his eyes tightly and stroked his erection more firmly, knowing that as soon as Heero came, he'd be a goner.

Heero groaned as he felt Trowa tighten around him. Another three quick thrusts, and he lost himself to oblivion, his hips jackhammering as he emptied himself into his lover with a wailing cry of, "Oh, fuck!" Trowa, his prostate exploited by the sudden rush of movement, came with a groan only a moment later, his hand still gripping himself in such a manner that his come hit the underside of Heero's chin and dripped down onto his chest.

Out of breath and quivering slightly, Heero pulled out of Trowa and glared at him. "That's it. You're taking a shower with me. It's your come, you wear it."

Trowa laughed lightly. "But you look better in it. Besides, I've got your's. It's an even trade, I think. Be glad I didn't get any in your eye like last time."

Letting Trowa's legs go, Heero collasped on top of him. "Hn. Yeah, well, that was pretty nice."

Trowa kissed his nose. "You're lying."

Heero kissed him gently. "Okay, so it was a hell of a lot better than nice. Now, we're going to go wash your mouth out with soap."

With a grin, Trowa allowed himself to be pulled off to the shower.


	6. Lovers or Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah. 
> 
> "Lovers or Friends" is by Cowboy Mouth.
> 
> ~lyrics~

We've been living together for six months now. This means that our half-year anniversary isn't too far away. I wonder, sometimes, if we'll last to a year. I mean, despite the fact that I was a Gundam pilot, the fact that I'm a man in love with another man still gets to some people and makes them treat me like a used condom in a gutter. That hurts.

 

~I reach for your arms but I only get smiles~  
~This has been happening a little while~  
~I say how I feel but you only get riled~  
~Accusing me of being a child~

For about the past month, we've been lovers... I think. I'm not sure if we're lovers who are friends or best friends who get it on and share coffee mugs. I'd like to think we can be both at the same time, but I'm not sure. Heero... me, too... we're so new to this.

No, I think we really passed into the lover's area on our three month anniversary. We had a big fight over whether to give gifts and go out to dinner... all of that stuff you see in cheesy daytime soaps. I said no, he said yes.

Then, he said that if I wouldn't let him take me out to dinner and buy me a year's membership to the local gym which I could run to instead of the one across town that doesn't have any free weights, then I could pack my things and leave.

 

~Remember the laughter the night that we met~  
~You passed me a look that I cannot forget~  
~You dared me to leave but I haven't gone yet~  
~We're giving both as good as we get~

I had to remind him that it was my apartment. Then, we went out to dinner. I ended up buying him a new hard drive for his laptop... then I let him give *me* a hard drive. I slept late the next day.

Still, it does all seem sort of new... everything. The first time we had sex was great, if embarassing. The second time, we were still blushing and giddy. It's still the same way. Well, we don't really blush anymore, but Heero still gets the same way he did the first time. It's sort of a mix of clumsy and frustrated and elated. I've taken it upon myself never to let him open the lube again. After a good part of a tube found its way into my hair that first time because of his fumbling and not knowing his own strength in his state of horniness, I figured that opening it for him would be a good thing, especially for me.

 

~You call me honey and I call you baby~  
~You say I'm dumb and I say you're crazy~  
~My memory's clear but the details are hazy~  
~The words come out all wrong~

A lot of couples call each other by pet names. We do, but only as a joke. He calls me honey; I call him baby. Like I said, it's just a joke. Otherwise, it's just Heero and Trowa, Tro if he's feeling frisky... which is becoming more and more often. I don't really mind.

There's a problem, though. I still want to be his best friend. Sure, it's great--fine and dandy--to have someone to bring me chocolates when I'm feeling a bit depressed. But, when we were friends, we went and played pool and went to hang out with the guys from work, and we even went to a strip club before. Now, I'm lucky if we play cards. Sure, snuggling is great and we have a lot to make up for, but that doesn't mean we have to quit having fun, does it?

 

~Are we lovers or are we friends~  
~And can we ever be both again~  
~There's a feeling here that never ever ends~  
~I would give my life to live again~

I'd love to come to a consensus on this. After all, I'm looking at it like it's the one thing in my life that might be permanant. I want it to be.

But, like with everything else, I keep thinking that I'm going to lose him at any time. Every day that he comes home from work and gives me a kiss, I smile and a little bit of the doubt goes away. Doubt and confusion have eaten away at me for the majority of my life because I wasn't sure of who I was. For once, I'm starting to find an identity. I realized that names mean nothing, and all that really matters in your life are you relationships and your actions.

I think that's why I'm so dead set on defining "us". To be a part of "us", I have to know what "us" is, and right now, I don't. I know we're something, but I'm not quite sure what.

 

~Your eyes flitter fast as you cast the first stone~  
~Something 'bout hating being all alone~  
~I try not to hear when your anger is thrown~  
~Or any kind of hurting is shown~

Some of our friends have taken to joking that we act like a married couple. That would be great if I didn't analyze everything that everyone told me. I mean, we fight. We get in stupid arguments and bicker back and forth. He's always so convinced that he's right. I adore it about him... but, sometimes I know that he's wrong. And it hurts that he won't even consider it when I tell it to him. He just gets angry.

Heero angry is a scary sight. It's something that you want to end as quickly as possible. When he starts to get that flash in his eyes, I get out of his way. I know that he would never hurt me. He's tried... even when we were just friends, we got in a brawl. It was serious combat over me telling him not to hurt someone who called him a weak-ass sissy. We each landed a few good blows, but nothing like what he could. I had one little bruise on my shoulder, and he had a scratch on his cheek. We've gotten worse from making love... much worse. 

 

~I clear my throat when you say you miss me~  
~I drink your lips as you slowly kiss me~  
~Your eyes grow wide but your smile gets misty~  
~I don't know what to do~

Still, regardless of all the crap we have going on from us adjusting to it all, I love it... love him. I never imagined kisses so sweet that I go into shock with every one. But, that's what I get. That's the part of this that I never had before. But, I never really had friendship before Heero, either. It was having companionship, having fuck-buddies, or being lonely. I took what I could get in the affection department, but it wasn't really all that much.

I hope I'm doing okay in showing Heero what he means to me, and doing all the things for him that he does for me. But, I'm just not good at finding the poetry in the moment and putting it into words like he is. I can't compare his eyes to a moonlit lake, or his skin to wet silk, or his cock to a lollipop. Okay, maybe I can do a comparison on that last one, and it can be oral, but not verbal.

 

~Are we lovers or are we friends~  
~And can we ever be both again~  
~There's a feeling here that never ever ends~  
~I would give my life to live again~

I should probably confront him on this... let him know that I think we can have it all. There isn't anyone else I'd rather try for it with. I think maybe he needs to know that. But, he'd go overboard trying to make sure it happened. That's why I haven't said anything yet. It's a dilemma, sure, but I think that I need to be the one to do something about it. I'll get the guys at work to invite us over for cards. We'll actually put our pool table to good use... not that sex isn't a good use, but probably not the use intended by the manufacturer.

 

~Has anybody seen the one you love~  
~Where is he now~  
~Has anybody seen the one I need~  
~Where is he now~  
~I never saw us parted~  
~You never saw us parted~

It's actually fun to be out in public without him sometimes. The people that we know always ask where he is, or tell me where to find him. The old lady who lives next to us works at a little deli near our complex. I go down and get a sandwich when he has to work late, and she always tries to comfort me by telling me that I need a big pastrami on rye and to forget about my bum of a husband.

I tell her that he's not my husband, and she stops piling on the pastrami. "Not married? You mean that you're sleeping with him and you haven't seen a ring? Feh... You want mustard?" It amuses me, and I try to explain, but she just keeps adding on to the sandwich and trying to tell me that Heero really is working late and he would never just say so and really be having an affair because he's not like that. Then, she motions me close and whispers, "He takes out the trash and gets the mail. *That's* a good man. You *should* marry him."

And I walk out of the deli with three day's worth of veggies and bread and good deli meat for the price of a plain sandwich.

 

~I watch the wind make the water shimmy~  
~I search for something I feel within me~  
~I go for breath but there isn't any~  
~You took it all away~

I really wish that I knew what to do about this. But, for now, I'll just let things go and see what I can do. I can't expect him to be in charge of how things affect my emotions. I think I just started really having them about nine months ago. But, Heero... He's got his own problems to deal with. He was so trained, so perfect at doing what he did... he needs the time to adjust and I'm fine to give it to him. But, I sort of wish that he'd let me in on his healing process a bit more. Then, we could heal together. Or, I could at least learn how it's done.

 

~Are we lovers or are we friends~  
~And can we ever be both again~  
~There's a feeling here that never ever ends~  
~I would give my life~  
~I would give my life~  
~I would give my life to live again~

Maybe if I could live it all over... no. Even if things aren't perfect, I wouldn't change a thing. I'd just live it all over again exactly as I've lived it before. I'm happy; there's just a few things I want to change for the future.

But, first, the question that plagues me: lovers, or friends?


	7. Vitality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah.

Ever had that feeling deep in the pit of your stomach that if you miss that one golden opportunity, you'll spend the rest of your life making up for it? I once thought that I had that. I found myself on the brink of what could be the most wonderful relationship of my life with my best friend and fellow ex-Gundam pilot and I knew that I had to be the one to take the plunge to make it. That feeling that I had right before I gave him that first kiss was like a 357 Magnum shell getting lodged in my abdomen while I jumped out of my Gundam while it was still in space, the vacuum relieving me of my air and my life. Then, I kissed him, and I knew I'd made the right choice and that I could face whatever came my way from then on and I could breathe. For once, really, truly breathe.

However, as much as I thought that embodied the hit-or-miss philosophy of love that I had, there are a million other moments that I find that give me the feeling of soaring through the air, then suddenly barreling toward the Earth. My decisions are my life or my death. I can pull away and hope to right myself. I can continue to barrel toward the ground and hope that it moves first. Or, I can let the wind capture me and embrace me and send me soaring once again.

I've always been a bit of a domineering person, it's true. I've been trained to accept orders and complete missions, but as soon as the war ended those few years ago, I sort of snapped out of it. I never did like submission to people whom I didn't feel that I could give my full, undivided trust to. There wasn't a point to it.

Of course, I now have problems with submission to the people that I *can* trust. Namely, Trowa. He means more than the world to me; more than the peace we worked so hard to get into even the fragile state that it's still in. Even if we have a third Eve war, I will fight with him by my side and I will fight *for* him. It is only for him that I put so much work into surviving... because he wants me to. He loves for me to wake up beside him. I don't want to deprive him of that for anything, especially not for my stupidity.

My stupidity seems to get in the way a lot. I do a lot of tremendously thoughtless things. If I'm angry about something, I usually just stomp out of the apartment, usually forgetting my keys and my wallet, and take a walk. Half the time, I don't get back until after midnight because I walk so far out while I'm thinking that it takes forever to walk back. I don't dare wake him when I forget my key. I need to remember to get a spare made to hide on the top of the doorframe or in the mailbox. But, when I never let him know why I'm angry and whether he did anything wrong, I think it gets to him... a lot.

He never says anything about it, though. He just wakes up the next morning without me there like the inconsiderate jerk I am, and comes and opens the door and brings in the paper, the milk, and then me. I've only woken up once when he was bringing me in because the neighbor's cat managed to escape her quarters and tripped him up. He simply flows like water when he moves. The resistance is there, but you don't notice it unless you really observe it.

But, when I'm being a jerk like that, I don't realize how vital he is to my existance. He really is the reason I live on. What else did I have to live for but his love? All of my friends who were too busy finding their way into their own relationships to remember to care about me? Peace summits? A dead-end job that I didn't even like because the excitement wasn't enough? It wasn't worth it if I didn't have love.

Hell! I didn't even realize it *was* love until he practically smacked me in the face one day with the fact that we were actually friends, and then I realized that we were only friends and there was something beyond that which I'd love to attempt to find with him. And, I found it. Correction: *we* found it. 

I hurt him. I know that. If I didn't love him so much and know how much he cared for me, I'd leave. He'd be better off without me if I could be sure it wouldn't break his heart. But, it would. I saw the look on his face that one morning when he was carrying me back in.

I have to learn to adjust to it all. Because, I keep getting that feeling that I have to make a decision and everytime I make one, it seems to be the wrong one. So, I'll talk to him. What have I got to lose? Letting him know how I feel can't hurt him any worse than not doing so.

Maybe if I start leaving chocolates on his pillow... Oh, I'm pathetic. I'm a jerk, I can't be as wonderful as the love of my life, and he still wants me in his life. I wonder if he'd be offended if I got him therapy for his birthday. He loves me. He needs the therapy. But, I need it too. Perhaps we can have a group session on our anniversary.

I love him. I will change for him. I will make him the happiest guy in the world. I *will*. It's just a matter of figuring out where and how to begin.


	8. Too Soon, Or Maybe Too Late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah.

Cold-fingered hands, cold because of the nippy air outside, finished jotting off the note on the inside of a box cover. Closing the box, he paid for his purchase with a nod, leaving before the boy behind the counter could hand him his change, meager though the amount was.

He rushed home, trenchcoat streaming behind him as he ran, box in hand. The distance wasn't much, but he was still in unfamiliar territory as he hadn't ventured through this area much. But, he took the street in long strides and was soon in front of his own front door. He didn't fumble as he took the key from his pocket, but still paused, taking a deep breath, before sliding it into the lock, turning the key and pocketing it as he stepped through the door.

There he was.

Heero was seated at the counter in the meager kitchenette with the morning paper and his cup of coffee. As the door opened, he looked up, then smiled. "Good morning, Trowa. I thought you'd still be in bed."

Trowa held up the box of doughnuts. "The few times that I get up early enough to see you before you head off to work, we never get to go have breakfast together. So, I figured, if we can't go for breakfast, I'll make breakfast come to us. Here." He handed over the box.

Carefully, Heero held the box in one hand while he folded the paper with the other. The box was set down on the counter and was opened. Heero had been about to reach for a doughnut out of the half-dozen when the writing on the inside of the box caught his eye. He read the words, then looked up at Trowa who was hanging up his jacket on the coatrack. "You... Would you mind reading it out loud to me? I just want to have a memory of you saying it."

Trowa grabbed the lid of the box and began to read with a smile. "Heero. These doughnuts represent what I want for us. Not just breakfast, but everything. A plain cake doughnut for a sturdy foundation. One powdered because we're all a little flaky sometimes. One crueller for that foriegn flair. One glazed devil's food to allow us to be devilish. One chocolate topped just because it's chocolate. One vanilla topped because we all need a bit of cream sometimes. These are the things I want to share with you. Because, maybe it's too soon to say, or maybe too late to hold back, but I love you and I want to share the rest of my life and all of these doughnuts with you. Trowa."

Heero was losing his composure quickly. "Trowa..."

Throwing the box top on the counter, Trowa threw his arms around Heero and hugged him close. "If you cry, I'm eating the whole crueller."

Laughing quietly, Heero pulled away and placed a chaste kiss on Trowa's lips. "Wanna grab a knife? I'll cut them all in half."

"Sure." Grabbing a knife from the drawer, he slid it across the counter to Heero who split each doughnut in two almost identical pieces.

Heero set down the knife and picked up half of the plain cake doughnut. "To a sturdy foundation?"

Trowa picked up the other half and touched it to Heero's half. "To a sturdy foundation." He bit off a good bit and chewed thoughtfully, watching the crumbs find their way all over Heero's shirt.

Then they'd finished off all but the vanilla topped doughnut together, Heero noted the time. "Ah, I have to get to work. I'll see you later, okay?"

Popping an errant sprinkle in his mouth, Trowa smiled. "You bet."

Heero walked around the counter and placed another soft kiss on Trowa's lips. "We should have breakfast more often."

Trowa nodded and kiss Heero again. "I'll make the coffee if you go get the doughnuts."

Heero nodded and grabbed his coat, picking up his briefcase and rushing out the door.

Leaning against the counter, Trowa grinned and grabbed Heero's coffee mug, taking the last sip as his own. "Love you."


	9. A Day of Bliss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah.

"You're beautiful."

Heero looked up from the Monopoly game that he had running on his computer. He blushed under his lover's gaze, shutting down the game with a quick tap of his fingers. "Hn. You're just saying that because you want me to get back in bed because your feet are cold. I'm getting you socks for your birthday. A pair of slippers if you're good." 

Trowa laughed lightly, pushing back his fall of hair to grin rakishly at Heero. "I'm going to get you a non-illegal version of that game you're playing."

"Hn. I am not playing a game."

Biting his lower lip, Trowa crooked his finger, motioning for Heero to come over to him. When he did, Trowa grabbed his arm and pulled him onto the bed. "First of all, I know for a fact that you had all of the railroads just by the way your eyes lit up. Second, you always start all of your sentences with 'Hn,' when you're lying to me. Third, I love you and all of my socks are in the wash and because you left the bed at 5:30 this morning to go grocery shopping because you wanted to get the good carrots before anyone else, you owe me warm feet since you robbed me of cuddle time. Get your tush under these covers and warm me up."

Heero pouted. "They didn't even have any good carrots this morning. They just had turnips. I hate turnips."

"And I hate cold feet. Snuggle time! Please? It's our day off."

After a moment of gazing at his lover, Heero stood and walked over to his computer. He was about to sit down when he happened to see Trowa looking at him, pathetic in his shiny-eyed blinking and whimpering. With a sigh, he shut down his laptop and toed off his shoes, padding over to the bed and sliding in behind Trowa. "There. Are you happy now?"

Trowa snuggled back against him. "Almost." Heero yelped as Trowa's cold feet made contact with his ankles. "There. Happy now."

"Hn. I don't know why I put up with you."

"There you go lying again. You love me, and you know it."

Heero draped an arm over Trowa's bare stomach, unconsciously beginning to rub his thumb along the edge of his lover's red cotton boxers. "Do you know it?"

Sighing softly, and happily, Trowa nodded. "Yeah, I do. Do *you* know that I love *you*?"

Heero nodded, kissing Trowa's shoulder. "Yeah." He lay his head against the pillow, burying his face in Trowa's hair, wrinkling his nose as Trowa wriggled into a more comfortable position, the hair tickling him.

Trowa slid one hand out from under his pillow, grasping Heero's hand that still stroked at his single item of clothing, and clasping it gently in his own, pulling it to his chest. Heero's fingers were cold from the fact that the house was always kept a few degrees below what normal people liked in order to keep the computers from overheating as much. The temperature discouraged annoying visitors as well. Those who were wanted knew better than to ask for the temperature to be upped; they simply wore sweatshirts and brought blankets whenever they were coming over.

The phone rang, breaking the peaceful silence that the pair so loved. Trowa groaned and pulled away from Heero to grasp the receiver and bring it to his ear, his other hand still grasping Heero's. "Hello?"

There was a pause as the person on the other end spoke. "Hmm... yeah, I think so. Why?"

A longer pause. "Yeah, hold on. I'll ask him." Trowa turned to Heero. "Duo wants to know if we want to go to the annual Preventer picnic. Wufei and Sally are bringing their kids, and Quatre got a new member of his family and wants us to be godparents." Trowa grinned slightly, knowing that kids were Heero's greatest weakness.

Heero groaned. "Hn. I don't want to see any kids today."

Trowa turned back to the phone. "We'll be there, Duo. What time did you say, again?"

Laughing ever-so-slightly, Heero tickled his lover just as he was hanging up the phone. "I know, I know. The 'Hn,' thing. When did you get so perceptive?"

Having released Heero's hand, Trowa squirmed around in the bed until he was facing Heero. "Probably around the time I fell in love with you and stopped being dense and depressed long enough to realize it."

"End of the war, right?"

Trowa nodded. "It's funny... The whole time we were fighting, I thought my cause was my colony, then, after it was over, I realized it was my colleague. You were my hero..."

"I still am your Heero."

"Not like that, I mean..." 

"Shh. I know what you mean." Heero slid one hand up to cup at Trowa's face, lightly tracing the lines of the features that he knew so well. His fingers brushed against the soft lips several times before moving out of the way to allow Heero's lips to take their place. As Heero pulled away, he spoke again. "Picnic, huh? Want to go for ice cream afterward?"

Trowa nodded and pressed his lips softly to Heero's, then burrowed his way between Heero's neck and the pillows.

Heero snorted, letting one hand go to Trowa's back to rest, occasionally tracing random patterns on top of the skin, the other buried somewhere beneath Trowa's pillow. The situation felt so natural, but a year or two earlier, any type of contact like it would have him running to Dr. J to figure out what it was supposed to mean. The relationship had been hard to form; mostly difficult in that neither of them were sure of what they were supposed to do or feel, but they had managed to stumble through just fine. They'd been together for just under three years, and every moment had been wonderful. They were prone to silence, but, together, they learned how to better express their feelings. They learned one another's likes and dislikes, observed each other constantly...

And the sex was great, too. Heero blushed slightly at remembering the first time they had tumbled between the sheets together. He had blushed a lot more then because he had no clue as to what he was doing. His sexual experience included masturbation about a few scant fantasies involving nameless, genderless, faceless people, and a few people trying to cop a feel at various times. Trowa had little more experience, but had seen enough of the act to have a bit of a clue as to what to do. That first joining had been on the painful side for both of them, but it led to better experiences in the future. Now, they knew their partners so well that a few whispered words and gentle caresses to sensitive areas of skin were enough to bring about their pleasure, but they often went far beyond that.

Trowa pulled his head away from Heero's neck to raise an eyebrow at him. "What are you thinking about?"

Heero smirked. "What do you think?"

"I think you're thinking naughty things, and I think you need a spanking for it."

Heero leaned forward slightly and licked Trowa's nose. "I think you need one."

Trowa laughed. "Maybe later." He rubbed his nose with the back of his hand, then wrinkled said nose in Heero's direction.

They lay silently for a moment longer before Heero asked, "So, do you want to go play Monopoly? I have the Gundam edition on the computer downstairs."

"Ah, maybe."

Heero knew how to make him agree. "I'll let you wear my socks."

Trowa bit his lower lip, then nodded. "Okay. But, if I get one of the spaceports, you can't buy it off me for anything! And, no hacking the game so you win." He paused. "I call Wing Zero!" With that, he pulled away from Heero and threw the covers off, racing out the door.

Tossing the covers off of himself, Heero followed fast, calling, "No! Wing Zero is mine! You can have Epyon!"

The remainder of the day was spent in united bliss, both parties enjoying their day off from work.


	10. It's In His Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah. 
> 
> The "Shoop Shoop Song (It's In His Kiss)" is by Betty Everett.
> 
> ~lyrics~

Trowa sat on the edge of the pool table that Heero had brought with him when he'd moved in... the one that they'd used to live out a few fantasies... where they'd shared their first kiss. Those had been great moments for both of them, but things seemed to have changed recently. They were both in doubt about the relationship and whether it would be able to last. Trowa was sure it had a chance. After all, neither of them had ever been the type to fall in love before they'd found each other. So, for it to last even as long as it had must have meant something.

Reaching behind him to grab his cup of coffee with sugar, no cream, he took a small sip and smiled. There wasn't much that he needed to be happy and coffee did it. After Heero had introduced it to him, he'd begun to drink it a lot, equating it with his strong lover. Every sip was a memory just waiting to be relived. 

At the moment, Heero was out of town. The company they worked at had decided that their long distance dealing with another company were becoming a bit of a problem. Since the problems involved Heero's department, he had been sent to straighten things out and intimidate them "just enough". He was due back in about an hour, and Trowa planned to spend the remainder of the time thinking about their relationship and what he might be able to do to figure out if Heero really loved him.

 

~Does he love me I want to know~  
~How can I tell if he loves me so~  
~Is it in his eyes?~  
~Oh no! You'll be deceived~  
~Is it in his sighs?~  
~Oh no! He'll make believe~  
~If you want to know if he loves you so~  
~It's in his kiss~  
~That's where it is~

Suddenly, Trowa felt intensely stupid. He didn't *need* to think about how to tell if Heero loved him. He knew it from every kiss. So, he just needed to get a kiss to reaffirm his faith in the relationship. Pulling his feet up onto the edge of the pool table, he rested the coffee mug back on the table and grabbed onto his toes and wiggled them in a childish gesture. Then, he whispered against his knees, "Heero, I miss you."

He heard the door open behind him and he jumped off the table, turning and assuming a martial arts stance before dropping his arms and scrambling over the top of the pool table toward the person who had just walked in: Heero.

 

~Is it in his face?~  
~Oh no! That's just his charms~  
~In his warm embrace?~  
~Oh no! That's just his arms~  
~If you want to know if he loves you so~  
~It's in his kiss~  
~That's where it is~  
~It's in his kiss~  
~That's where it is~

"You're home!" He threw himself at the other man, wrapping his arms around him and holding tight. "I missed you."

Heero smiled, dropping his suitcase beside him and shutting the door with his foot. "I missed you, too."

Trowa paused a moment, then looked up at the clock. "You're early. Your train should have just gotten back. What happened?"

With a smile, Heero gently caressed Trowa's cheek. "The train was late and there was someone who wanted to get on the train but they were at capacity. So, I sold the woman my ticket and got to the airport and took a flight. I stopped on the way back to pick something up for you." His smile even bigger, he pulled something from behind his back. It took a moment for Trowa to register what it was.

He grasped the plastic pot that held his favorite type of flowers: coelogyne pandurata orchids, a.k.a. black orchids. They were so beautiful, rare, hard to grow, and nearly impossible to find on the colonies despite their charming occasional misnomer of "*colony* pandurata" variety orchids. "Heero... thank you." He went to set the flowers down, then paused and felt the soil. "Did they say these had just been watered when you picked them up?"

Heero shook his head and came up behind him, grasping him around the waist and placing soft lips against his lover's neck. "Yes. They did. In fact, I watched them water them."

Trowa smiled and walked over to the closet, pulling out the vacuum cleaner and placing the orchids on the floor. When he stood, Heero gave him an odd look. Trowa ran a hand through his hair and shrugged. "They need to 'sleep' for about eight hours a day. Otherwise, they'll wilt and die. The soil's already mostly dry, so it shows that they're ready for their nap."

 

~Kiss him and squeeze him tight~  
~Find out what you want to know~  
~If it's love, if it really is~  
~It's there in his kiss~

Pushing the closet door closed, Heero wrapped Trowa in a warm embrace. "I hate going places without you. It makes me realize what I'm missing." He suddenly pulled away. "But, maybe that's a good thing. Lately, have you been feeling... like we're... I want to say growing apart, but I think it's more like forgetting what we have?"

With a shake of his head, Trowa kissed Heero, both hands coming up to play in the soft tendrils of hair at the nape of his neck. 

Heero enthusiastically kissed back, his own hands lovingly caressing Trowa's back. Every ounce of emotion that he'd ever allowed himself to feel beyond remorse, anger, and confusion was because of this man; the man that he loved. Perhaps he wasn't worthy, but he didn't care to question love. 

 

~How 'bout the way he acts?~  
~Oh no, that's not the way~  
~You're not listenin' to all I say~  
~If you wanna know~  
~If he loves you so~  
~It's in his kiss~  
~That's where it is~  
~Oh, It's in his kiss~  
~That's where it is~

Without pause, the pair made their made to the pool table and sat on the edge, kissing all the way. Heero pulled back, only to lean in again and nuzzle against Trowa. "I love you."

Trowa grinned, ecstatic. "I knew you did. I love you, too. I just... need to hear it, feel it."

Heero nodded. "I keep trying to find where we stand. I can't seem get it into my mind that we can be in one relationship and have it be more than friends, yet *still* be friends."

Leaning his head against Heero's shoulder, Trowa took a deep breath. "I was trying to figure out exactly the same thing. I mean, we're not exactly complex people, I don't think. I live for you, now." He paused, smiling sadly. "I think I always did. I always knew that something better would come along; something that would make everything I ever went through worth it. And, you did. You still do, even when we can't figure things out."

 

~Kiss him and squeeze him tight~  
~Find out what you want to know~  
~If it's love, if it really is~  
~It's there in his kiss~

Heero pulled him up to eye level and kissed him again; softly, sweetly, tender and showing every bit of love that they had ever shared. Trowa felt his eyes begin to water in the kiss, brief tears coming to his eyes as he realized how deeply his feelings ran for Heero and how much Heero felt for him in return. It was bliss to finally realize it.

When their connected lips were allowed to part, Trowa shivered, tightening his embrace about the other man. "I love you." He quietly sobbed, a single tear trailing down his cheek to drip onto Heero's shoulder. He drew in a deep breath, his lips pursing, then parting. He repeated his words: "I love you."

His lover held him near; comforting him and pressing soft kisses to the top of his head while he let emotion overcome him. Finally, he managed to settle himself and sat up to press his lips insistantly against Heero's. He tried to communicate it all; using his lips to say what his voice could not. He'd never been one to go overboard on expression, but the moment would not be denied. He was doing what needed to be done.

 

~How 'bout the way he acts?~  
~Oh no, that's not the way~  
~You're not listenin' to all I say~  
~If you wanna know~  
~If he loves you so~  
~It's in his kiss~  
~That's where it is~  
~Oh, It's in his kiss~  
~That's where it is~

They broke apart after some time, rapturous over the show of feelings that they had both displayed. Suddenly, Heero bolted up and away to his suitcase, digging around in it after breaking off the lock one-handed. He finally procured what he seemed to be looking for and ran back over to Trowa, his hand firmly behind his back. "You made me forget what I really came home early for." With a grin, he got down on one knee before Trowa and grasped one of his hands. "My love..." He pulled his hand from behind his back and revealed a small jewelry box. He flipped it open with his thumb and turned the box toward Trowa. "Will you..."

Trowa brought his other hand to gently touch the smooth platinum band that sat in the box. He didn't even hear the remainder of the question. "Will I... Hmm? I'm sorry. I wasn't even... Marriage, commitment, forever, I don't care. I love you. It's yes."

Heero grinned and removed the ring from the box, tossing it behind him to hit the vacuum cleaner that still sat by the closet. Gently grasping Trowa's hand in his own, he placed the ring upon his finger and slowly slid it up the length, delighting in the way Trowa smiled about it. When the task was complete, he stood. "I'll make an honest man out of you, Trowa Barton."

"The only way you'll make me honest is if you get rid of the Barton," was Trowa's reply.

Kissing his lover again, Heero stroked the side of his face. "Does this mean you'll be the bride and take my name? Catherine can be your maid of honor. After all, you were her's."

Trowa laughed briefly. "We'll see what we can do. I will *not* wear another dress. Catherine had her heart set on it, but after that fiasco with my train and the flower girl, I refuse to do so much as wear pantyhose for you."

Heero smiled at the memory. "Not even if we do what we did after the wedding... with you in only those pantyhose."

As Heero pressed against him in his arousal, Trowa gasped. "Okay, maybe then. But, never in public."

Shrugging, Heero pulled away a bit. "Okay. No pantyhose in public." 

Trowa nodded. "Right."

They paused in the moment, reflecting on the evening's events. So much had happened... so much had been resolved. Nothing made sense, and things had probably gone too fast, but it didn't matter to the two whom were involved. They had reaffirmed their love for one another and now they were able to do something about it. 

 

~Kiss him and squeeze him tight~  
~Find out what you want to know~  
~If it's love, if it really is~  
~It's there in his kiss~

Heero smiled. "I'm marrying you." He delivered the message with a soft kiss.

With a come-hither grin, Trowa replied, "Damn right you are," before sliding his hands over Heero's butt and pulling him close for a devastatingly hot kiss that eventually left them shy of breath and devoid of a majority of their clothings. Like the beginnings of their relationships, things were fresh, new, and ultimately satisfying.

The remainder of the evening passed quickly, if not quietly.


	11. Planning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah.

With a pen in hand, Trowa slipped quietly through the shadows, trying his best to avoid Heero, his lover. No, he corrected himself, fiancé. Heero had proposed and Trowa had accepted. Today was the first day that they had a chance to truly sit down and plan out the wedding and the honeymoon, but Trowa had decided that a game of hide and seek was a good way to begin.

Peeking around the corner into their bedroom, Trowa snuck in and was immediately launched toward the bed, a heavy weight on top of him. "Heero!"

Trowa laughed as Heero straddled him and held him down, tickling at his sides. "You... you took off on me! You left me there to make choices for food by myself! I am not the one who likes caviar on toast points and baked alaska, so why am I making the food choices? Hmm?" With that, he planted a first kiss on his future husband's nose. "Enough hide and seek. We have work to do."

Sticking out his tongue, Trowa tried to sit up, but Heero remained straddling him. "Heero, are you going to get off of me so I can help you?"

Heero sighed. "Yeah. I'd rather ravish you, but we have to plan the honeymoon. I can tell that the more rest I get before then, the better. Where did you want to go, again?"

Trowa chewed absently on a hangnail. "Well, we'll be on Earth for the wedding because Relena offered up her estate. The Sank kingdom isn't too far from Iceland... and, I've always wanted to go there." He blushed slightly, his lower half still pinned to the bed by Heero's weight.

"Then, my darling, Iceland will be your's for the taking for a week." Planting another kiss on Trowa, Heero slid off of him and pulled Trowa along to the kitchen where the table was strewn with numerous colored brochures for different companies that Relena had sent along as soon as she had heard about the wedding. She had stated that as long as she had sent Heero to look for Trowa, she had truly started the relationship between them and was going to foot the bill for the whole shindig. Wanting only the best for his almost-husband, Heero had agreed.

Trowa looked up from a brochure on the different types of wedding cakes available from one particular company. "Heero? Did you mark anything in this one?"

Heero glanced at the brochure and shook his head. At the response, Trowa smirked. Heero raised an eyebrow. "Why? What's in there?"

Turning the brochure around, Trowa pointed to the circled item. "I do believe Relena is getting into this."

"Yes, but did she have to circle the two male nudes with fig leaves for the top of the cake?" Heero laughed, lightly rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Although, if we can get them to have out hairstyles, everyone else would secretly love it."

Trowa smiled and leaned his head on his arms on the table. "It's nice to have a day off together to do this. We haven't had a simultaneous day off for months and months. One of us always has to stop by the office to do something, it seems."

Taking a quick sip of coffee, Heero reached out and gently ruffled Trowa's hair. "I believe that last time we had a day off, we relived our first day off together and played Monopoly all day and you only let me get all the railroads in one game."

Sticking out his tongue, Trowa picked up another brochure. "Are we getting married inside or outside?"

Heero paused to ponder it, but shrugged. "I don't really care. But, are we having a big ceremony?"

Trowa laughed. "Heero, we invited all of the Manguanacs and Quatre's sisters and all of their extended families. I think we'd have a full house."

"It's just as well we have it outside, then. Everyone will be in suits and other such wedding attire. If they're outside, they'll be able to stay relatively cool." Heero took another sip of his coffee and circled a few things in a brochure. "We need to make definitive decisions on all of this by this evening and get at least the tentative details out there so we can start sending out invitations. We agreed on May 24th, right? It's Sank, so the temperature will be good, I think."

Tracing his fingers along the brochures, Trowa smiled. "I love you."

Heero blinked in confusion, but smiled back. "I love you, too. You're making me sublimely happy, I hope you know."

Trowa grinned. "Ditto." Suddenly, he yelped. "Ah... fhh..." He began shaking his hand in the air, hissing in pain.

Pulling his fiancé over to the sink, Heero turned the water on and ran Trowa's finger under the water. "You and your papercuts. I'm so used to this by now." He smiled and turned the water off, grabbing a paper towel and patting Trowa's hand dry. He walked over to one of the cabinets and pulled it open to reveal that it was fully stocked with various medical supplies. Pulling out a small bandage and a tube of antibiotic ointment, Heero applied the ointment to the bandage and carefully examined Trowa's hand. He decided on the best way to apply the bandage and, in no time, had the bandage secure, and had placed a small kiss atop it. "There you go."

Blushing slightly, Trowa sat down at the table again and carefully began to leaf through more of the brochures. "What are we going to wear?"

"Fig leaves?" Trowa's head jolted up. "Okay! Tuxedos, I suppose. Do you want to both do plain black?"

Trowa grinned. "We could both do black, sure. And, then, I could have a white tie and a black vest, and you could have a black ties and a white vest. Maybe?" He looked down at the brochures again, a small smile quirking his lips.

Heero grinned. "I think we can do that."

Trowa looked up and gently grasped Heero's hand. "I think we can do *this*."

Taking the final sip from his coffee mug, Heero gently caressed Trowa's hand with his thumb and brought it to his lips to kiss. "Want more coffee?"

Holding out his mug, Trowa nodded. "Should we pick out flowers, next?"

Heero smiled and grabbed the offered mug. "It it were up to me, we'd have nothing but buttercups and black orchids. Perhaps we'd throw in some baby's breath, but nothing terribly fancy."

Smiling to himself, Trowa procured their list of things to order and wrote 'Flower arrangements: buttercups, black orchids, baby's breath'. "I'll think about it, Heero." Grabbing the pen again, he took off on another game of hide and seek. He knew when Heero needed a break from it all, and now was one of those times. "Hey, Heero? Hide and go seek! You're it!" He ran off, stifling laughter, and peeking through the shadows once again.


	12. Wedding Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah.

A soft breeze blew across the buttercups, black orchids, and baby's breath that bloomed from shallow pots in the center of every table surrounding the small gazebo where Heero stood, attired in the white tuxedo that had accidentally been ordered when he and Trowa had asked for tuxedos that differed in color, neglecting to mention that they had originally planned on black. The mishap was easily handled. Trowa fell in love all over again at the sight of Heero in white. The reverend stood at the center of the happy white gazebo, book opened to the correct page, holding it in place with one hand as the soft breeze continued to blow.

Heero took a deep and clasped his hands in front of him. Now was not the time to be getting nervous. He'd been nervous all day. Everything but his tuxedo had come through exactly as they'd asked for, even the flower arrangements which he didn't remember writing down. He hadn't seen Trowa since that morning. Trowa had spent the morning picking everyone up from the airport (and leading the several busloads of people to Relena's estate), then Catherine had taken him out for brunch and for a talk. She was acting as Trowa's maid of honor. Duo was Heero's best man and had attempted to get Heero away from the estate for a little while, but Heero had refused. He felt that he needed to oversee everything and make sure that Trowa would be happy with it. Quatre was attending his pregnant wife during the ceremony, and couldn't exactly be a part of it, and Wufei was acting as flower girl. He'd been indignant when Trowa had asked him, but now he took on the duty as he did anything else: with utter seriousness and a sense of pride.

Turning away from the reverend, Heero stared out at the assembled people. Every Manguanac had found their way there, as had all but one of Quatre's sisters and their families. Many of the members of Trowa and Catherine's former circus troupe were in attendance. Sally was keeping watch over the children she had so happily borne of Wufei, and Relena and Dorothy were chatting amiably at the back of the confusion, smiling grandly. Heero smiled. Rather than force everyone into pews for the wedding, they'd simply set up tables so that the reception could be held in the same area.

Heero looked down at the small bit of baby's breath that adorned his suit, and smiled. He looked up again when he heard the music starting. He swallowed and began to take deep breaths. A circus tent had been erected in Relena's backyard by the members of the circus troupe as a place for the members of the wedding party to enter through the chaos. As Heero looked on, Wufei strode from between the folds, and began tossing flower blossoms upon the ground, laying the path for the wedding party to walk along.

Duo ran out after him, passing Wufei and running up to Heero's side. "Hey, sorry, dude. I forgot I was supposed to be up here." Heero blinked. He'd forgotten that Duo was supposed to be there, as well.

The folds of the tent began to part again and Heero took in a deep breath, holding it. Trowa passed through, elegant and undemanding. He stepped in time with the wedding march that played on the organ that had been set up by the gazebo. Catherine emerged a few steps later, already wiping at her eyes and smiling grandly.

Wufei finally reached the gazebo and took his place off to one side. Trowa continued to walk forward, a small smile growing on his face as he glimpsed Heero. Smiling back, Heero almost didn't here the creak that the gazebo made. But, he *did* hear and immediately pulled the reverend from the center out onto the grass, just making it in time for the roof of the gazebo to crash down, landing on Heero's foot. Heero winced, but pulled himself away. He stood gingerly on his uninjured foot and examined his tuxedo for grass stains. Happy there there weren't any, he helped the preacher to his feet and nodded for things to continue. Trowa was already to the collasped gazebo, having begun to run as soon as Heero set into motion. Catherine took her final steps and positioned herself at Trowa's side.

Trowa stood at Heero's side, beaming. He whispered to his almost-husband, "You okay?" Heero gently grasped his hand and nodded in response. They kept constant eye contact and missed a majority of the reverend's words. When they finally tuned back in, all they heard was, "Is there anyone here who objects to this union? Speak now, or forever hold your peace." Heero held his breath as the reverend's eyes searched the large crowd. Finally, he smiled and turned his view back to Heero and Trowa.

Gesturing to Heero, he began. "Please, repeat after me. Trowa Barton..."

Heero, eyes glimmering, repeated. "Trowa Barton." His voice was filled with awe. 

"It is my intention to be your best friend."

Heero smiled, focused on the love of his life. "It is my intention to be your best friend."

"To respect and support you."

Trowa grinned back. Heero continued. "To respect and support you."

"To be patient with you."

An unguarded smile lit up his face. "To be patient with you."

"To work together will you to achieve those things that are important to us."

Heero gently stroked Trowa's hand with his thumb. "To work together to achieve those things that are important to us."

"To accept you unconditionally."

He grasped Trowa's own hand in his own. "To accept you unconditionally."

"And to share life with you throughout the years."

"And to..." Heero stumbled on his words, choked with emotion. He took a deep breath and finished his vows. "And to share life with you throughout the years."

The reverend proceeded to turn to Trowa, but Trowa held up a hand. "Heero Yuy, it is my intention to be your best friend, to respect and support you, to be patient with you, to work together with you to achieve those things that are important to us, to accept you unconditionally, and to share life with you throughout the years." He smiled, his eyes shining in the light of the day.

Smiling graciously, the reverend bowed his head. "We will now have the presentation of the rings."

Heero dug around in his pockets, but didn't feel the ring he had so carefully placed there that morning. He felt someone tapping him on the shoulder and he turned. Duo was standing there, holding a pillow with both rings on it, held in place with two stiches of thin white thread. Smiling, Heero grasped the correct ring and pulled it off the pillow, presenting it. At the reverend's cue, he said his line. "With this ring, I pledge to thee all that I am as well as my love, unconditional, forever." Trowa held out his hand, fingers shaking ever so slightly. They stilled at Heero's touch, and he gasped in a breath when Heero began to slide the ring onto his finger. The cool metal tickled at his skin, but tingled when it hit the base of his finger. Heero grasped Trowa's hand and gently lowered his lips to the ring, softly kissing it.

Trowa grinned and grasped his own ring for Heero off of the soft, white satin pillow, the platinum gleaming in the sunlight. "With this ring, I pledge to thee my very being, my love, and everything I might ever lay claim to, of which you are the only thing I need keep." Heero's hand flew to his mouth to stifle the cry of happiness that rose to his lips. He held out his other hand and allowed Trowa to slide the ring down his finger, returning the gesture of kissing it softly as further profession of his love.

They clasped hands and turned to the reverend. The man smiled slightly. "By the power vested in me by the Earth Sphere Colony Alliance, I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may now seal you vows with a kiss."

Just then, the air cracked with thunder, followed shortly by a streak of lightning. Rain began to fall, sending most of the wedding party members running for the tent. A majority of the guests followed, the last few yelling their congratulations to Heero and Trowa before running for their cars.

Trowa looked up at the sky in annoyance, his nose wrinkling as a drop of rain hit his eye. "I wish it hadn't begun to rain."

Heero brought a single finger to Trowa's lips and silenced him. The rain continued to fall, and Trowa felt the soft, cool presence on his skin, but disregarded it as Heero leaned in slowly, pressing against him lip to lip. Trowa melted into the kiss, no longer caring that the the rain was falling. He wrapped his arms around Heero's neck and stroked his hair with one hand, the other one trailing down Heero's back. When they pulled apart, Trowa smiled. "Do you realize that we're really lucky?"

"I knew that." Heero brushed a chaste kiss across Trowa's lips. "We have each other."

Trowa grinned. "Well, that, too. But, we don't have in-laws. We have supportive friends. But, most importantly, we have each other. I love you, Heero Yuy."

Heero grinned back. "And I love you, Trowa..." He paused in his words and pressed another kiss to Trowa's lips. "Yuy."

Trowa drew in a breath and tugged Heero close. "You've made me the happiest man in the world."

"Mission accomplished."

Laughing, Trowa began to sway back and forth, still embracing Heero. In a burst of energy, he grabbed Heero around the waist and swung him around. When he touched the ground again, Trowa attacked him in a kiss. "Want to go to the reception real quick, then get a move on for Iceland? I think there's a bed with our name on it."

Tackling Trowa to the ground, Heero plaufully growled. "Who needs a bed? It's going to be a long plane ride. I forgot to bring a magazine."

Trowa grinned. "You can read me instead."

Helping Trowa up, Heero began to lead him toward the circus tent, favoring his uninjured foot. "Well, see, reading wasn't quite what I had in mind..."

They passed through the impromptu doors of the tent and were greeted by catcalls and congratulations. The remainder of the day passed in happiness, both men awash in the beauty of being newlyweds.


	13. After the Rain Falls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah.

The rain had stopped it's fall half an hour before. The leaves glistened in the coming sunshine, tiny droplets of water still falling from them to bombard the guests who were following a smiling, newly married couple out to the drive of Relena Peacecraft's Sanq Kingdom home where their limo awaited to carry them off to the airport, then off to Iceland. When the group had gathered, Relena, herself, took a stand in front of the married couple, right in the center of the crowd. "Friends... we were here today, not just for one great party like we just had, but to celebrate the union of our friends, Heero and Trowa... Yuy. We've all been here to witness their incredible triumphs and tribulations, and some of us were instrumental in getting them together in the first place. Now, we can only wish them the best, and a lot of great sex. Have fun, you guys." She grinned impishly and stepped to one side. The crowd cleared a path for the pair; Trowa in traditional black, Heero in white. 

They walked forth, and were bombarded by bird seed. Wufei had objected to the use of rice because it would kill the birds if they ate too much it. Then, he put on his little "I am an honorable Chinese man" act and said, "We cannot defile the rice in such a manner as throwing it, woman. What were you thinking?" 

When they'd made their way through the crowd, Heero and Trowa nodded in thanks to their gathered friends. "Thanks! We couldn't have been here without you all, not in body, or in spirit," Trowa called out. 

Heero put an arm around Trowa and pulled his husband into a warm embrace. Duo opened the door to the limo. "You guys should get going. Your plane leaves in a little over an hour." 

Nodding, Heero pulled Trowa toward the open door, whispering to Duo before he followed Trowa into the limo, "Keep an eye on Relena, would you? She seems really lonely, and I don't like the looks Dorothy keeps giving her." 

Duo looked surprised, but he nodded, regardless. "Sure. I'll... I'll do that." 

A moment later, the limousine was pulling out of Relena's estate and onto the open road. Heero and Trowa were seated so close together that the line between them seemed grey. Trowa leaned against Heero's shoulder and sighed in contentment. "That was really great. I'm still wet from kissing you out in the rain so much, but it's worth it just to know that you're here and mine and I'm yours and..." He trailed off so he could look up at Heero. "I feel like I can't say it enough. I love you. You make me... you're my great equalizer. You're why I'm who I am now." He pursed his lips and turned in his seat so that he could lean against Heero's chest, one hand on each side of Heero's waist. 

Heero blushed and looked away vaguely at Trowa's words. When Trowa looked up at him, leaned against him with eyes wide, Heero smiled and looked down at him, swallowing. "You... you really feel that way? No... nevermind that. I know you do. I... I feel the same way." He laughed. "I'm just... I'm nervous. I wasn't all that nervous before because everything was all planned out, but now that we're going on our honeymoon... It feels like a big vacation and vacations scare me because there isn't a set schedule. I just... I need something planned." 

Trowa smiled and pressed himself upward so that his lips were mere millimeters from Heero's. "I've got plans. Just trust that I'll keep you on track with me. I promise you'll love every minute of it." 

It was only five minutes of comfortable silence later when they pulled into the airport. They were both still in tuxedos with black orchids, buttercups and baby's breath tucked in neat arrangement in their lapels. The drive up to the check-in counters at the airport was still wet with the afternoon's rain. 

The pair were checked in, and only a few moments later were headed toward their gate with boarding passes and carry-on luggage in hand, Heero supporting himself by slinging an arm over Trowa's shoulder, still limping because of the gazebo which had collapsed on his ankle. They reached their gate after only a little bit of searching and riding on escalators. They finally sat down together, taking seats where they had a decent view of both the door leading to the plane and of the grey sky, the raindrops still falling heavily, though it seemed to be clearing up a bit. 

"It's a perfect day for our wedding," Trowa said. 

Heero smiled softly. "That's true. We're not exactly the sunny day type, are we?" 

Trowa shook his head. "Not at all, my friend... my husband." 

The pair sat there, in loving silence, amidst the hustel and bustle. Several minutes later, a boarding announcement was made. Heero and Trowa grabbed their boarding passes and carry-on luggage and made their way to the gate. The woman checking their passes smiled and said, "Congratulations! I hope you have fun." She winked. 

Heero's eyebrows furrowed in confusion until he took a closer look at the boarding passes. They were registered under "Yuy, Heero and Trowa: NEWLYWEDS". Trowa looked over and caught the words as well. He laughed softly. "That Relena." He smiled, grabbed Heero's hand, and pulled him onto the plane. 

Once they were seated, a stewardess came over. "May I see your boarding passes, please?" Heero glared, but handed them over. "Oh! Misters Yuy! Hold on just a moment." She scampered off, leaving two confused men behind. She returned a moment later with three pieces of paper and a keycard. "These two forms are your customs forms. They've been pre0filled. Please make any needed changes and then sign and date them. This other form... please read it and both of you need to sign and date it. And, here's your key!" She began to walk off, but Heero stopped her. 

"Key? What is this for?" 

The girl didn't smile this time. She leered. "Oh, come on. You made the reservations. You *must* know." 

Heero glared again and the girl shivered. "I did not make the reservations. A friend did. She said we were just getting the standard package. According to her, the only key we should be receiving would be to our room." 

The girl nodded. "And so it is. The room is at the back of the plane. Leave the paperwork here once you're done. Then... enjoy!" 

Heero and Trowa both looked rather dumbfounded. "Well," Trowa said, "let's do this stuff and then go decide whether to kill Relena or thank her profusely." 

The forms didn't take long, though the pair did have to laugh a bit at some of the phrasing on the release form for the room. "Any injuried incurred from use of objects in a manner other than that for which they were originally intended is the sole fault of the user," indeed. 

At this point, the pair gathered up their carry-on luggage and headed to their room. When they reached the door, Trowa stopped Heero quickly and said, "You know that I love you. So, don't be afraid to say no to me if I ask you to do something, okay?" 

Heero smiled. "I won't be. I'll probably be too busy saying 'yes' to bother, though." 

Trowa's mouth quirked up at one corner. "You're too good to me." 

Heero reached out and ran the tips of his fingers along the side of Trowa's jaw. "That's okay. I think you're too good to me, too." 

Trowa shook his head as Heero's hand came to rest, cupped, on his cheek. "No. There's nothing good enough for you, especially not me." 

"I beg to differ, and that's all that matters," Heero said. "Now, come on. Let's go see this room." 

The keycard easily opened the door and the pair squeezed through, side by side. The inside room was a non-tacky honeymooner's dream. The bed was stately; large and soft, with a honeyed stain on the frame and hunter green sheets and a comforter on the mattress. The walls were patterned with gold leaves and vines on a cream-colored background, while the floor shared the honeyed hue of the bed frame. Several storage cabinets were located around the bed and tacked in place as a subtle reminder that this room *was* on an airplane. There was even a built-in bathroom, though it was a twin to the one the other passengers would use. 

Heero locked the door behind them, and motioned to one of the storage cabinets. "I suppose we should put our things in one of those, right?" 

Trowa nodded, opened the cupboard, and then began to laugh. Heero looked over to see what was so funny, then blushed. "Condoms, a whip, and 12 tubes of Astroglide?" 

Trowa nodded again, then smiled widely. "I think we can do without the whip. Now, as far as the condoms..." His face turned serious. "We did get checked out, and we're both clean. Plus, we're married now. If we'd gotten anything before, it would have shown up by now, and anything you have, I want to have anyway as well just so that I understand what you're going through, and so you don't have to go through it alone. So, yes? No? What do you think?" 

Heero took a moment to think about it, staring at the condoms as though they might magically tell him all of the answers to all of the questions of the universe. "You're right. Very right." He looked up at Trowa and smiled. "I want our marriage to be built on implicit trust. I don't want there to be any doubt. You're the only one for me, and that's the way I want it to stay forever." 

Trowa shrugged off his jacket, folding just to toss it to the floor. He reached down and grabbed one of the tubes of Astroglide. "So... who's going to be on top?" 

Chuckling, Heero took off his own jacket and began to work on his belt. "Well, by convention, I should be on top first because you took my name. However, that we be sort of strange because you're, well, bigger... all over. Especially, um, yeah." 

Trowa's cheeks flushed and he began to unbutton his shirt. "So, you'll top now, and I'll top later?" 

Heero nodded and slid his belt out of the confines of the loops of his pants. "That sounds about right." 

Trowa sat down on the edge of the bed just as an announcement was made. "All passengers, please take your seats. Restore your seats and tray tables to an upright position. Turn off all electronic devices. Make sure that your seatbelt is buckled correctly and is not too loose or too tight. Check that there is a floatation device underneath your seat and that all carry-on baggage is to be secured either in an overhead compartment or underneath the seat in front of you. All passengers with a type H ticket are reminded that their safety imformation is located on the table to their left. Anyone with a question may press the flight attendant call button at any time. The plane is currently taxiing to the runway and will leave as soon as we are cleared for takeoff. Thank you for flying with us. Have a nice day!" 

Heero looked up from where he was beginning to toy with the button on his jeans. "Now, Mr. Yuy, be careful of the G forces that you might encounter on the flight. I want you to stay nice and safe, so be sure that you remove all of your clothing and lay back on the bed. You will be ravaged shortly." 

Trowa managed a soft laugh as he unbuttoned the last button on his shirt and rolled it off of his shoulders. "You are a wonder, Heero Yuy." 

Sliding his own shirt off, Heero grinned. "And so are you, Trowa Yuy." 

"Are you always going to call me that?" Trowa took off his own belt. 

"Probably just until I get tired of you." 

"Here's hoping I can stand it forever... I hope." 

Heero stood and slid down his pants. "You'll be able to stand it, I think. Now, get naked." He said this because he now was naked. "How am I supposed to ravage you if you still have clothes on?" 

Trowa smiled. "I'm sure you'd find a way." However, he did remove the rest of his clothing quickly; tossing it to the floor. 

Despite being hard and wanting desperately to be inside of Trowa, Heero paused before so much as kissing his husband to say, "There's something so much more wonderful about all of this now that I have proof that you're with me for the long haul." 

Trowa reached out and grasped Heero's hand and pulled it toward him. He wrapped both of his hands around Heero's one and placed an infinitely soft kiss between two of Heero's knuckles. "Forever." He smiled. "And even that seems too short a time for all the love I have for you." 

Dropping his hands from Heero's, Trowa moved his fingers to trace lightly along Heero's sides, sending shivers to show just slightly in tiny tremors on Heero's part. Then, Trowa stood and slid his arms around Heero's back. He nuzzled his nose in the crook of Heero's neck and moaned softly. The heat was as arousing as the situation. Heero's head tilted back and he extended his neck. Trowa followed the line with nipping kisses until he finally captured Heero's lips from above, emotion pouring forth from every action. It was erotic, and romantic, and so right. 

Heero retaliated in kind, and pressed his lips to Trowa's shoulder, moving downward diagonally to kiss a soft path to Trowa's sternum. He wrapped Trowa in a hug and pressed his head comfortably against Trowa's chest. "I love you," he murmured as he pulled back and urged Trowa to lay down. 

"Love you, too," Trowa answered as he arranged himself on the bed, watching Heero with such an expression on his face that no one could mistake the want that he felt for his lover in these moments where the words they normally held back came forth. Heero's reaction to that look was powerful. He was a very giving lover in the first place, but he was ferocious in his giving when he got like this. Trowa bit his lip, knowing that sightseeing would definitely be put on hold the next day in favor of abusing the hot tub; in more ways than one. 

Heero was quite happy to be on top this time. He could control more things from the top. While he couldn't promise absolute pleasure to Trowa from any vantage point, from here, he knew what would make Trowa lose momentum, or gain too much, and even what would make him pass out and when. With time, lovers begin to know one another as well as they know themselves. Heero was certain that he understood Trowa even better than he knew himself, though he would be the first to admit that the man he loved was enigmatic almost to a fault. But, it was an important almost. 

Trowa allowed himself to be led. When Heero's hand slid up the underside of his thigh to grasp at his knee, he allowed it to lift and allowed Heero to place a whisper of kisses down the inside of his thigh. He allowed Heero's tongue to acquaint itself with everything it wanted to, as each movement felt divine. His heart was beating faster, but there was a calm that he swam in which made the tacky decor of the room, the location of their entire endeavor, and the questionabilty of the soundproofing on the walls all fade away. It was Heero and Trowa and love, and that combination was too great to ignore. Trowa gave himself over to it whole-heartedly and practically sang Heero's name as he advanced up Trowa's body, quickly prepared him as everything built to a fevered pitch, and sank in quickly, and deeply, and completely. 

Heero held his husband close and felt that the warmth of being pressed to his chest was a wonder as much as everything else about this man he loved. He was on top, but was the smaller one. It was pleasant none-the-less. When Trowa was on top, there seemed to be knees everywhere and the pillows almost always ended up under the bed somehow. But, Heero often preferred it since he liked the sensation of Trowa taking him and making him definitively his. Yet, there was also an inexplicable draw to this; the taking. There was control to be had where losing control seemed to happen more often than not, and there was something to be said about being given control on one's honeymoon. Trowa often topped when they played on the pool table at home simply because of the dynamic that his perfect height brought to the deal. The same was true of the kitchen, and the shower. Bed and the weight bench and the sofa were more Heero's ground, and he was staking it now, for he would give it up tonight. 

But now, with Trowa giving himself over, Heero wasn't sure it mattered. Every time was like this, regardless of how many knees and elbows and pillows did or did not get in the way. So, who was on top and who was on bottom was as inconsequential as whether a coin landed heads up or down when no one had a bid on the results. When Heero realized this, things seemed to raise to a higher level. For as much as he felt himself penetrating Trowa, he felt ultimately penetrated as well. The gestures were not in place, but the love, and the feeling of being enveloped by his lover, were as strong as they ever had been. 

Trowa rocked softly against Heero, encouraging the soft rhythm that he had built up. The pace was building, but slowly, and it was fine by Trowa. There was something to be said for time now that he was finally learning to enjoy it. 

Heero kept pace with Trowa, and the soft slide of sweat-damp flesh was sweet and rang in their ears for all they didn't hear anything but the tiny whispered, "I love you"'s which passed between them and the sounds of their own heart beats, beating in time with each other, pumping as they now were -- fast and frenetic and ready. 

With a sharp gasp, Trowa let go of his final spring and felt release pulse through him and flood over him. Heero was pulled along with a similar noise and the pair took a moment to recover before Heero placed butterfly-delicate kisses along Trowa's brow and eyelids and cheekbones and lips while softly clutching his head and whispering words of love that would make no sense to anyone but the two who were still so entwined. It would be the better part of an hour before they would disentangle, and even then it would only be to prepare for landing, but the silence that tried to claim the air never quite seemed to take hold over the sizzle of the passion between the two in bed. 

The plane landed with no complications, and only then did Trowa and Heero Yuy pull apart and begin to look for their clothing. It had been an intense journey, made all the moreso by the couple's first bout of sex since the wedding. It was a sort of honeymoon before the honeymoon, and it was enough to take the edge off and allow them to truly enjoy each other's company until that evening. 

Iceland was a beautiful country. The grass was so green, and the air was so refreshing. For as out of the way as it was, it was completely worth it for both Heero and Trowa. While they planned to make the most of their honeymoon in order to be together physically, they also hoped to have just as much fun, if not quite so messy, on the rest of their trip. With the beautiful scenery, they could spend hours on the balcony off of their room, just sipping coffee and cuddling and tossing around odd bits of conversation. Heero grinned and thought of the board games that Trowa had thoughtfully brought along while saying, "We can't possibly have sex the *entire* time. We'd get dehydrated." 

They arrived at their hotel without complication as well, and checked in. Their room was ready and waiting, and so was a meal. Relena had taken care of the details down to the very last thing, it seemed. They had a fully-stocked honeymoon suite done in deep greens and blues and a warm meal with piping hot coffee waiting for them with fresh, sweet cream. Heero had tried to tip the bellhop as he finished setting down their things, but he merely held up one hand and said, "Please, sir, I've received enough. I don't want my wife thinking the wrong things!" 

Their meal was set out on the cozy table in the room so that they might sit across from each other. The food was delicious, and tasted more fresh than anything the two could ever remember having. Though, perhaps the air made the food taste better. All of the war from the previous years had left a very thin coat of ash on most of the land. It was stirred up by any activity, and while rain suppressed it, as soon as the ash dried, it was stirred up anew and was likely to be in any air you might breathe in. This air didn't have that same quality, and the newlywed couple felt the difference in everything around them and wondered how they would handle going back to the old grind after the honeymoon. Everything would be different, for as much as things might stay the same. Trowa already had scads of paperwork sitting on the desk in their apartment, just waiting for his brand new signature. He hadn't taken taking on Heero's name lightly, but it seemed just as well. Neither one of them knew their own birth names, and Trowa secretly thought "Trowa and Heero Yuy" had quite a ring to it. 

After eating, the newlyweds got their belongings in place for the next week, or at least as much so as seemed necessary. Afterward, Trowa decided to take a small tour of the suite. The bedroom was nice, of course, but there wasn't much to it. The bulk of the room was taken up by a California King size canopy bed with a hunter green bedspread. Trowa left the room and took a glance around the living room in the middle of the suite. The dining table was there, and there was a generally cozy feeling which seemed to radiate from more than just the fire in the fireplace. Trowa moved on to the small kitchen, and admired the design of the kitchen. The designer hadn't had much room to work with, but had still created an ideal kitchen. Trowa opened up the refrigerator and glanced at the contents. His lips quirked slightly as he saw the contents. While the main portion of the fridge was devoted to food that one might actually cook with, the contents of the door seemed to include only the type of ice cream toppings which might be used during sex. Trowa kept these in mind for dessert one evening, then remembered he had one room left to check out. 

Trowa made his way back to the bedroom, expecting to see Heero finishing up his unpacking as he walked in. He didn't see his lover, so assumed that he went into the bathroom. The door was open, so Trowa quickly entered and saw Heero leaning against one wall and gazing longingly at the large garden tub and the many kinds of bubble bath, shampoo and conditioner. Heero turned to Trowa and said, "Do you think we could do this tonight? I'm still a bit sticky from our plane ride, and I'm getting lots of naughty ideas right now." 

Already stripping off his jacket and throwing it to the floor, Trowa nodded. "That sounds like a plan to me. Get naked. Whoever's done last has to run the water!" As Heero already had his jacket off, the two were evenly paced as they rushed to strip. Both could have gone faster, but the urge to watch the clothes be peeled away from their lovers bodies was more than a bit overwhelming. In the end, however, Heero won as Trowa's jeans were tighter and took more manuevering to remove himself from. Trowa happily walked over to the taps and began fiddling with the water and the temperature. He put the plug in the drain as soon as he was happy with it, then looked through the various bottles along the bathtub's side. One bottle made him chuckle slightly. "Relena really does think of everything, Heero." 

Heero looked up, startled, from trying to choose the two softest towels of the bunch he had been provided with. His face was calm as he read the label, then his eyes went wide as he comprehended the words. "Underwater Lube?" Trowa nodded, and Heero cleared his throat slightly. "Make sure you have that at the ready." 

When the tub was full and frothing with bubbles that smelled faintly of lavender, Trowa and Heero approached and immediately reached out to grab one another. They drew close for a soft kiss, and their arms entangled and their hardnesses sought one another and it was magic. The other's skin felt like the softest velvet and tasted of intangible things like dreams and destiny. Lips which sought pressure found it easily enough, and hips that pressed forward were likewise amused. But when the first noise escaped past Trowa's lips, for it had seemed a game and Heero was a vicious player, they pulled apart and took turns sliding into the water until the bubbles were up to their ears. 

Heero approached Trowa slowly. "Remember: you're on top." 

Trowa lifted Heero and floated him slowly through the water. "How could I forget? It's been in my mind for the last two hours." He attacked Heero's neck with his lips, almost bruising on contact as he suckled gently and let his teeth in to play a bit. Heero appreciated the delicate pain that grounded him and took him to another level all the while. 

Heero let out a trembling moan and wrapped his arms smoothly around Trowa's broad shoulders. "Oh, god... you always know just where I need it." 

Grasping tightly at Heero's hips, Trowa lifted him slightly and pulled him forward until Heero's chest pressed against his own. He groaned slightly and clenched his jaw for a moment. "It's just that I need to give it to you." He ground his erection against Heero's and said, "And now I need to give you this. Do you want this?" 

Feeling as though he was slowly going mad with need, Heero ground his hips when Trowa did and moaned merely from the tone of voice that Trowa used. His lover usually only spoke when words were important, but his bedroom voice was what Heero's wet dreams were made of (and sometimes caused by, as Heero had recognized that nights when he had wet dreams were mostly nights when Trowa spoke in his sleep). Then he realized that he hadn't answered Trowa's question yet, so he nodded vigorously, then buried his head at Trowa's shoulder, placing soft kisses there as Trowa thrust softly against him. Here, doing this, the air was not so different. 

As Heero kissed along Trowa's neck, Trowa fumbled for the lubrication. They wouldn't need much. Though Heero often topped, he bottomed often enough that Trowa often didn't need anything more than his own natural lubrication to ready him, but this time, when the days were so promising for so much, he wanted to ensure that their options were open in whichever direction they might decide to go. 

Heero let out his breath in an excited puff as Trowa's fingers sought his entrance, feeling the difference between where one hand grabbed him fully while another kept two fingers free for other reasons. When he felt those fingers and where they touched, his memory sparked and soft visions of previous experiences washed over Heero as excitement rose in his veins, and in his cock, and in everything that called attention to itself. There was mounting passion in the air that seemed to take up all that tension might have tried to fill, and Trowa was grateful. Heero had a probably of being too tight if he was excited sometimes, and as much fun as it was to nudge him open nice and slow, tonight was smooth and steady as he pressed the head of his cock against Heero's entrance after lifting him slightly, and then pulled him down, reeling him in, until Heero was firmly seated and already panting. 

Trowa's arms wrapped around Heero's back as Heero's wrapped around his own and they clutched at one another and sought entrance at each other's mouths, and their hips were involved in an intricate dance which was not so much movement as it was something else entirely that overwhelmed all else. The warm water in which they sat only seemly to lend a degree of surreality to the event, as though they were floating in some perfect haven. Though, were either to name a place to stay forever, they were each likely to name the other's arms. 

Lips were crushed against each other and against shoulders and chests and necks and foreheads and cheeks and the pressure was there, and it was comforting, and it anchored the physical pleasure from the otherworldly passion that flowed through them both as they barely moved and still drew at breaths like a flickering flame. 

Nothing else mattered at the time, only that the passion was building. It kept forming and shaping, and almost seemed to create a physical manifestation of the love they felt for one enother, and they clawed at each other's backs and the dried skin which came off with the water felt like clay, somehow, and each man felt that he had finished a scultpure of the perfect man and had somehow given him life with merely his love. 

And, perhaps, that had been closer to the truth than either could bring themselves to admit. 

They held each other in a tight embrace, their lips to each other's shoulders as they came, slowly moving together toward perfection. Their cries were muffled, but the simultaneous shouts of "I love you!" could not be mistaken. 

Then, it was over, and Trowa was slowly, and carefully, lifting Heero and lovingly letting him down again. Heero let himself rest lazily against Trowa's chest and together, they drained the tub, then stepped together into the shower, and they cleaned up. They wrapped in the fuzzy towels that Heero has approved of, and entered the bedroom again. Pulling on flannel pajama bottoms and sweatshirts and thick socks, Heero and Trowa settle down for the evening. It was early to be going to bed, but the sunrise was certain to be something to watch and tomorrow had so much promise now that they were completely together. They crawled into each other's arms and fell to sleep in the same breath. 

They slept gently and peaceably and awoke in the morning just before dawn's first light shone soft above the horizon. Trowa stumbled into the kitchen and began to brew a pot of coffee, and Heero follwed and attempted to find breakfast. There was a fruit basket in the living room, so he liberated several orange, bananas, and bunches of grapes, and used the bottom half of the front of his sweatshirt as a makeshift bag. Trowa came in a moment later with the day's first coffee, and they made their way out onto the balcony. 

There was an old wicker loveseat with a small table in front of it. The coffee and fruit went on the table and Heero and Trowa cuddled together on the loveseat, and then Trowa spoke the first words of the day, for their routine was one they had followed for a while now. Trowa said, as he shifted slightly in Heero's embrace, "I never thought we'd make it to this." 

Heero let out a short burst of laughter, but held Trowa a bit tighter. "I'm glad we did, though." He paused, then let his fingers trail up so that his thumb traced Trowa's bottom lip. "I love you." He cocked his head very slightly. "I don't think I could possibly say how much, though." 

Trowa nestled into Heero's arms and smiled softly. "Then it might just come close to how much I love you, after all." He kissed Heero's thumb where Heero had pulled it away slightly to let Trowa speak, then wrapped his arms around Heero's so that they were almost one, but not quite. There were limits between them, but sometimes they almost had to pass beyond them to remember they existed after all. 

The remainder of their honeymoon was much like the first day. Iceland didn't offer much in the way of sightseeing where they were staying, but their walks and picnics and other such activities only seemed that much better because of it. Though they weren't doing much, they were togther, and that kept the boredom away as much as sightseeing might have. Though, no sight was worth missing the experience of playing Monopoly on a beach in Iceland. They could certainly have enjoyed each other's bodies more than they did, but exhaustion seemed too high a price to pay for the comfort of the way they were going about their days. 

The trip back home had them seated in plane seats and watching the sun rise over Iceland one last time as they sipped at their hot coffee and wondered once again how the readjustment was going to be. 

When they arrived at the airport, they were pleasantly surprised. The air was the same somehow, and despite having responsibilities to attend to, they seemed less of a hassle than they had a week ago. This honeymoon had been a vacation as well, and that had been wonderful. 

Just as the pair were about to get into a cab to go home, Heero took note of the more-than-dew-wet grass. He smiled as he slid in next to Trowa in the backseat of the cab. Trowa noted and smile and said, "What's up?" 

Heero continued to smile and said, "I'm just thinking that good things always seem to happen to us after it rains. So, today will be a good day." 

Trowa smiled as well and threaded his fingers through Heero's. "As long as we're together, every day is going to be a good day." He leaned over and put his head on Heero's shoulder; a slightly uncomfortable position as he was taller. Heero took note and slid his head under Trowa's so that they were both comfortable and relaxed. The ride home was silent, but it was warm in the way that fire is not, but sitting in front of a fireplace with your lover is. It was blankets for two instead of one and twice as much coffee in the morning and two bookmarks in one book. Love had a warmth, and while it was a very warm beginning of June, the heart can be cold, but theirs were not. 

And the air was clear, and the grass was damp, and the war was nowhere to be seen.


	14. Save Me (For) Dessert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah.

Heero was leaning on the kitchen counter, calmly reading the front page of the paper, pants still unzipped, shirt pulled in the back. He was at peace, perfectly comfortable, and sated from his earlier love-making session.

Suddenly, he heard a blast of air and felt something cool on his back, just under the waistband of his jeans. He gasped at the feeling and immediately turned to see Trowa standing behind him. "Trowa? What was that?"

Trowa only smiled and shook his head, arms behind his back. Heero tackled him for it, sending the other man to lay halfway on the kitchen counter, a can of whipped cream dangling in his grasp. "Ow. Sorry, but it was just too much of a temptation!"

Kissing Trowa solemnly, Heero grabbed the container, placing it in the refrigerator after grabbing the cap from Trowa's other hand and placing it on. "You should know better by now than to randomly cover me with whipped topping."

After having lifted himself from the countertop, Trowa slid his arms around Heero's waist from behind him and kissed his neck. "Well, if you didn't look so decidedly delicious in said whipped topping, I wouldn't cover you with it. Besides... you still had chocolate there from earlier."

Heero's eyes flew open and he stalked off to the shower. Trowa laughed and leaned against the counter. "Sorry I didn't finish my dessert. Can we keep it in the fridge so I can have the rest later?"

With the shower already running, Trowa was surprised when Heero peeked his head into the kitchen and said, "Of course you can, but you'll have to put the whipped cream back on."

Trowa licked his lips and grinned, checking the refrigerator for an extra can of whipped cream.


	15. Sharing the View

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah.

Ever had that feeling deep in the pit of your stomach that if you miss that one golden opportunity, you'll spend the rest of your life making up for it? I once thought that I had that. I found myself on the brink of what could be the most wonderful relationship of my life with my best friend and fellow ex-Gundam pilot and I knew that I had to be the one to take the plunge to make it. That feeling that I had right before I gave him that first kiss was like a .357 Magnum shell getting lodged in my abdomen while I jumped out of my Gundam while it was still in space, the vacuum relieving me of my air and my life. Then, I kissed him, and I knew I'd made the right choice and that I could face whatever came my way from then on and I could breathe. For once, really, truly breathe.

However, as much as I thought that embodied the hit-or-miss philosophy of love that I had, there are a million other moments that I find that give me the feeling of soaring through the air, then suddenly barreling toward the Earth. My decisions are my life or my death. I can pull away and hope to right myself. I can continue to barrel toward the ground and hope that it moves first. Or, I can let the wind capture me and embrace me and send me soaring once again.

I've always been a bit of a domineering person, it's true. I've been trained to accept orders and complete missions, but as soon as the war ended those few years ago, I sort of snapped out of it. I never did like submission to people whom I didn't feel that I could give my full, undivided trust to, even those who probably deserved it nonetheless.

But, this relationship is simple in a complicated way. It's been alternately the easiest thing I've ever done, and the most difficult. I've been forced to make decisions which weren't life or death. They were simply a matter of my heart, and my heart and I, until recently, weren't all that well acquainted. He changed me, and changed my heart.

He likes to sit on our pool table at night and hum the songs that played at the parade we went to celebrating the end of the war, and those during the football game that changed our living arrangements, the ones from our wedding, and our honeymoon, and the rest of the moments of our life which had built-in soundtracks. I recognize them all, and I realize that he probably doesn't realize he's humming. But, they're happy memories, and he always hummed along during the actual events, so I like to hear it, because I know he's happy.

The orchids that I brought him on the day I asked him to marry me are tucked away in the closet right now. They're sleeping. He's kept them alive, and murmurs so sweetly to them, that I almost feel jealous as his lover. Yet, it also brings forth ideas of being a father as I watch him care for something else like he cared for me for a time during the war.

We've broached the topic of children before. The idea seems nice. But, it doesn't fit, even with as much as we've changed from the war-hardened young men we were. Those years before the war weren't the best. Neither of us knows how to be a child, really. We were forced to adulthood, and then, for each other, made the choice to stay there. We could each have easily taken a step away from it all and we'd be out partying or something right now. But, instead, I know he is sitting on the pool table humming a Sousa march with a cup of coffee behind him and the stars gleaming bright in the sky.

I just made a fresh pot of coffee, even though it's a few minutes after 2100 hours. We'll be tired tonight, but it won't matter much in the long run. We were both so well-trained those years ago that we can't forget the most important skills.

It's that which still makes wrestling for more blanket on a cool night a lot of fun, despite the way our bones have started to creak and ache. It isn't old age, really. Neither of us is even 30. But, we've done a lot of damage to our bodies. That sort of thing builds up over the years.

I join him in the living room and move his cup of coffee off to one side and haul myself up on to the other side of the table. He doesn't turn his head, but I can feel his smile. He smiles with his whole body when its for me.

I lean my back against his and sip at my own cup of coffee. "Today was pretty good at work, huh?"

He smiled again. "One of the parrots learned a new phrase."

"Oh? Was it 'Fuck shit damn, you cocksucking mother-fucking cunt faced ass'?"

A laugh echoed lightly in the room as his shoulders shook slightly. "Nope. That was the first phrase the new one learned, though. I think it's his favorite."

"So?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

He laughed and smiled again. "Well, that's wonderful to know, as always. But, I meant that as the phrase the parrot had learned. I've certainly never said it to them, so I couldn't think why until I was in the room today when you called. Apparently, my voicemail plays out loud when it's incoming."

"Then it certainly heard enough repetitions to be able to repeat the phrase," I quipped.

"Yeah," he said, and pivoted a bit so that he could lean to one side and lay his head on my shoulder. "It took me much longer to learn how to say it like that."

I felt myself soaring again, and turned to him. He looked at me and I lifted his chin and smiled the sweet sadness that betrayed our utter happiness.

He cut in suddenly. "What's wrong?"

I'd had enough practice by now of not hiding my feelings from him that they poured out quickly. "Sometimes, it just seems like it can't last like this. We're so happy. Even when we're miserable, we know why and we can always stop it if we just stop being stubborn. I don't feel like I've earned the right to be this happy."

His lips touched mine in a soft kiss which caused my fingers to trail quickly down his throat to catch at his collarbone. "I feel like you've earned the right to be happy, even if I'm not sure if I have. So, as long as you feel the same way about me, it should be fine. Right?"

I put my arms around him and pulled him into the kind of embrace that always left us shaking with love for one another. "I want everything wonderful for you. And you must want it for me, too, because that's what I've been getting: everything wonderful. But you were the first and foremost. Nothing will ever compare with you."

He rested his head against me and I felt the few strands of tension that had knotted in his back release as I stroked my palm against his soft shirt. "We're so lucky to have this," he murmurred against me.

And it was a little death all over again, because his love was the vacuum that took my breath away and left me struggling to make it somehow. And his love was also the very air that blew in at the right moment and kept me breathing. And it was all for him. And that made it worth everything. Every up and down was okay because we had a level playing field, so everything else was our own fault. That, at the very least, explained why we always managed to fix things in the end.

This will never feel like a routine. This will never seem like it's getting stale. Because our ups and downs are of our own making, and the furthest we can fall is the ground.

We've never slept on the pool table, and it doesn't sound palatable now either. I go to move to get off the table to drag him to bed, but he is up first and around the table and he picks me up and cradles me to his chest and kissed my forehead as I hang rag-doll-limp in his arms. But he carried me to bed and tucks me in and crawls in next to me. "We'll just brush our teeth and clean-up in the morning," he quips between kisses.

The night is dark and lush, and we're in each other's arms. It's the simply things, really, that make this work so well. And there, in that simplicity, is the answer to any of the questions I could come up with about him. But that's fine. He gives me no reason to question him.

A frog croaks in the distance and the moonlight fades from between the curtains as the moon conceals it. I hold him even more tightly and try to remember what it was like before I'd fallen in love with him. Strangely enough, I can't really remember that. I remember the war and the death and the fighting, but I don't remember how I lived out the day except for remembering what I did with him. It puts my life in perspective.

But, it's only with him that I'd share the view.


	16. Games Children Play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah.

"I was *not* acting like a kindergartener, Trowa." Heero pouted and unbuttoned his jacket in a fury.

Trowa cleared his throat. "You threw a crab into Duo's hair when he told me I was in good shape. If that isn't childish, what is?" He pointedly stared at Heero who caught the gaze and turned his shoulder to his lover.

Worrying at his bowtie, Heero grew frustrated when the knot he'd tied earlier to keep the bow in place turned to thwart him now that he'd had a few drinks. "I don't care. He has no right to make remarks like that. Let him get a husband of his own!" He gave up on the tie and leaned down to take off his shoes.

Having passed by on the alcohol at Relena's get together, Trowa chanced a laugh. "He said I was in good shape, not that he wanted me to take me back to his place and tie me up in his closet to keep forever." Heero looked up defiantly. "Besides, I'm with *you* for a reason."

Heero's eyebrows quirked inward. "Why *are* you with me? I can't even find my shoelaces."

"You're stone drunk, aren't you?" Heero blinked and swayed slightly. "Heero, you don't have any shoelaces on those shoes."

Looking down at his feet wearily, Heero shrugged and sat back, not realizing he'd sat on the ottoman rather than the armchair. A moment later, Trowa walked over to help pick him up off the floor. After sitting him down firmly on the couch, and sitting next to him, Trowa pulled Heero's shoes off for him, then reached up to deftly undo the tie that Heero had insisted on making tight earlier in the evening. "Heero, I love you. Not Duo. You. You are the reason I live, and probably the reason I'll die. At this rate, most *likely* the reason I'll die. I don't plan on leaving you ever unless that's what you want. And, while it's sweet that you get jealous, it was *my* crab that you threw into Duo's hair. We're married now. You shouldn't worry. Now, since you insisted on drinking almost constantly at the party, can I get you undressed and into bed and then lay out some ibuprofen for the hangover you're sure to have in the morning?"

Heero blanched quietly while Trowa talked. "Lemme just brush my teeth first, okay?"

Trowa nodded. "Me too."

The pair walked into the small bathroom at the rear of the apartment. Heero missed the first time he grabbed for his toothbrush, but got it the second time. By the time he felt ready to apply the toothpaste, Trowa already had his own toothbrush ready and in his mouth and grabbed Heero hand while he put toothpaste on the bristles. Around the toothbrush in his mouth, he said, "Brush. You need sleep if you want any hope of making it to work tomorrow."

The toothpaste was like a mint explosion in his mouth, but the overall experience was fuzzy. Fuzzy like a kitty cat, Heero mused. Trowa snorted beside him. "What?"

Taking the toothbrush from his mouth, Trowa smiled. "You're drooling." Heero wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand and furiously brushed. When he was done, he spit into the sink, rinsed his mouth out with the small glass of water that Trowa handed him, grabbing it back before he could drop it and had to hang over the sink for a moment before the sudden urge to vomit went away. "Never let me drink again. And, oh, I've got to piss."

Trowa spit out his own mouthful of saliva and toothpaste. "So, piss. I'm your husband and you can't pee in the same room as me?"

Heero blushed. "Could you turn on the faucet?"

Laughing while he rinsed off his toothbrush and Heero's, Trowa put them away as Heero relieved himself. "Think you can remember to turn the faucet off and get back to our room?"

Heero leaned against the wall with one arm. He nodded and focused in deep concentration. Trowa snorted and walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. He stripped off his clothing, folding it and laying it on a chair before pulling back the bedspread and the sheets, sliding between them.

A moment later, Heero walked back into the room. Trowa could hear the water in the bathroom. "Heero, you left the water running." A moment later, Heero came back into the room sans pants. Laughing again as his husband's drunken bumbling, Trowa got out of bed and pulled Heero close by the collar of his white shirt, the top two buttons missing. "You silly, silly man." He pressed a soft kiss to Heero's lips; Heero who leaned in after the fact and almost fell over. 

Pulling Heero along closer the the bed, Trowa sat down and grasped one of Heero's arms, undoing the man's cufflink. When the pair had been removed the set on the night table, Trowa stood up again. "You *were* being childish."

"I *was*. But, I have a right to be." Heero pouted again and looked somehow adorable under his muss of chocolate-dark hair that stayed wild even in the shower. 

Trowa smiled. "Maybe that's so. But, now I have to teach you a lesson."

Heero looked panicked. "A lesson?"

"Yes. Your vowels. Proper for someone who's being childish." Trowa grinned rakishly.

"But, I know my vowels. They're--" Trowa cut him off with a kiss.

While Heero stood with his feet planted almost firmly to the floor (he kept wavering slightly), Trowa unbuttoned the bottom button of his shirt and kissed the exposed skin. "A."

Heero shivered. 

The next button up was undone and the skin was again kissed. "E."

Heero wavered again, but Trowa pulled him close with one arm and undid the next button. Another kiss, longer. "I."

"Oh, Trowa..."

Trowa smiled. "No. That's the next one." The button undone; the skin was kissed. "O."

The final button was undone and the shirt slipped off Heero's lust-rolled shoulders to land in a heap on the floor. Trowa pressed a long kiss right over Heero's heart. "You."

Heero smiled and fell blearily into Trowa's arms. Trowa managed to get him onto the bed and under the sheets, though it took some skillful manuevering. When Heero was in place, Trowa kissed him softly. "I love you."

Blinking quietly back, and smiling a bit himself, Heero said, "I love you, too. A, e, i, o, you." He reached an arm out and pulled Trowa close.

Trowa rested his head on Heero's chest and curled up comfortably. "Sweet dreams."

Just as Heero began to drift off, he whispered, "Always sweet... they're of you."

The morning would come eventually, but not just yet. And, they were both happy of the day's reprieve.


	17. Poster Child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah.

There's a room in our apartment that we rarely step into. It is there, in the back, at the end of the hallway. The open doorway to the left leads to the kitchen. Just before that is the bathroom, and across the hall from the bathroom door is the bedroom door. Oddly enough, the door to the bedroom is the one closest to the pool table. But, that is, perhaps, for the best.

In the beginning, this room was Heero's bedroom. It was barely large enough for the bed he had in there. But, that bed is gone. Now, he shares mine.

That room is usually never opened, and when it is, its only barely so. Heero keeps his sweaters in here, and since he rarely gets cold, they're hardly needed. The rest of the room, however, is storage: it's full of memories.

There's a shelf of mine, and one of Heero's, and one of ours -- where we keep seperate the times we've been like this, and the times where we haven't.

On my shelf are pictures of the people who mean things to me. I have the remote detonator to my Gundam, still marked with the dirt from my hands when I used it to kill my killing machine. I have my mask from the circus, and various and sundry other things, and I'm suddenlt curious. Heero is still at work filing reports and doing technical support, and I have the day off from research. So, I'm going to go comb through some memories.

I look at my shelf and notice that except for my few items from the circus, everything is war-related. But, perhaps that makes sense. I ignore the further questions that come to mind just as I notice that there seems to be something missing from my shelf. I can't quite place what, so I'll move on to Heero's shelf.

Heero's possessions are more varied than my own, yet they all pertain to war even moreso than my own. He has his old, broken laptop from mission reports and the few ripped pieces that he could find of the first birthday party invitation he'd ever received while posing as a student at a school near an OZ base. (To this day, he's never told who invited him, and the crucial pieces are missing from the invitation.) He has his own remote detonator, but it is in far worse shape than my own. Perhaps that is from overuse. He has his first firearm and his first military-grade grenade pin. Attached to it is a wilted buttercup. This is a story he has told me, and it's the very reason I won't get Heero a pet. Personal loss for him, even in rememberance, is far worse than death. I don't want us to get a puppy, have it die, and see that utterly heart-wrenching look on his face. But, we go to the pet stores and he visits my lab at work, and that seems to make him happy enough, and happy is a much better look for him.

Also on his shelf are his sweaters. They are all dark and made of cashmere, and Relena bought him every single one. I might admit to jealously of a sort, but I'm glad. It's fun to cuddle in cashmere.

Our shelf is a bit more exciting. Somehow, Heero held onto some of the bandages from years ago when he attempted to self-destruct his Gundam and I helped him back to good health. They are simple support bandages from around the time I took him to the families of the peace ambassadors he'd accidentally killed to offer them his life. I'm glad no one ever agreed.

There are the tichets to the football game that we went to where we decided to move in together. The dissassembled oars of the raft Heero took me out on to help me relax during those early days are wrapped within the raft and tucked in the back of the shelf. The first flowerpot from the black orchids he gave me, and the box from the special breakfast of doughnuts are there: side-by-side. There's a piece of the gazedo we were married by, and the complimentary lube from our honeymoon. (Well, the empty bottle is there, at least.) There are pictures here as well, and I suddenly realize what is missing from my shelf.

"Trowa?" I hear from outside the storage room. Heero's home from work now. Good. I have a question for him. I leave the room and walk towar him and give him the usual hug and kiss.

He looks at me suspiciously. "And what were you doing in there?"

I look him in the eyes. "Remembering. Where's my poster?"

He smiles. "In my office at work. You have affectionate animals to get you through the day. I have your circus poster from the end of the war where you aren't wearing a shirt. It reminds me that I always have something special to come home to, no matter what."

I lean against his shoulder and pull him closer to me. "I don't suppose it matters. It's an old memory. And I'm much more concerned with making new ones."

He smiles and it's in the kiss he gives me as well. "Don't worry. They'll come. And we'll have more shelves for those than we have memories of war."

I almost resolve to buy him a puppy just for that. But, from the looks of things, we have penty of time for puppies. Until we can take care of ourselves and each other, completely, we won't worry about anyone else.

For me, just us is okay. In fact, it's the best thing of all.


	18. Happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own the characters, I mean no harm, I have no money... Stuff like that. Yeah.

Somehow, along the way, I forgot just how much Relena had to do with making me a happily married man.

I have never said that I thought that Relena was a bit too nosy for her own good. But I've thought it over and over again since we were 15. Trowa knows I think it, but only because he sees the agreement on my face when he says it while we're shrouded in blankets and pillows and bedding down for the night. It isn't even really that she's nosy; she merely wants the best for everyone, and is convinced that she is the best person for getting the job done, even if she has to outsource the actual tasks. But it led me to Trowa, so I can't bring myself to ever be upset with her for it.

The years have passed, and they've been good to us all. Duo is married to Relena and their 5 children are beautiful and have the fastest-growing hair that anyone has ever seen. 

Wufei and Sally are not married, and never plan to be, but their child is adorable and has the most loving parents anyone could ever hope for. They love each other, but Wufei cannot bring himself to marry again after his first wife died in battle. Sally used to look upset when she realized that there was a piece of Wufei's heart she would never have, but now she realizes that it is a smaller part than she originally thought.

Quatre and August are happy. Quatre is so proud to have children of his own. It was a joy to see him during the days when he was having a daycare center built into the headquarters of Winner Enterprises.

Zechs and Noin are divorced, but they are happy. Zechs remarried to Sylvia Noventa, and they both snuck invitations to the wedding to Trowa and me. Noin attended, and looked upset, but she met Lady Une there, after many years of making sure to avoid her, but they struck up a friendship which looks poised to become something more. If Relena is aware of it, which I'm sure she is, then things will go as they should.

Dorothy has become a quiet woman. She teaches fencing and literature during the week and spends her weekends at home with her cats. She told me once during our reunion picnics that she would have liked to have gotten married, but the only man she ever loved wanted tons of children and she hated them. At the time, she was dancing with flower chains in her hair with Relena and Duo's youngest daughter.

Every year, on Christmas Eve, we get together on Earth for a picnic. It is often indoors, or we're all so bundled up that we can barely move, but it's a chance to celebrate everything that has ever happened to us, and to celebrate knowing each other.

It's the 19th of December and the next picnic is coming up soon, and it will be tough to go to. There have been two deaths since the last picnic. Hilde Schbeiker, a brave girl who nearly had Duo's heart before Relena, died in a freak mech accident. And Zechs and Sylvia's beautiful little girl died of a heart defect. There's a chance that it will be three deaths before the 24th. Trowa's sister, Cathy, is in the hospital, and the doctors aren't sure what's wrong. Trowa is a wreck sometimes, but he has faith in his sister, and he knows enough about death and dying that he'll be okay when she goes. It's the rest of the group we're not sure about.

I never imagined that my life would get to this point. I never thought I would have friends, let alone a husband, and a sort of family. And this is the best family a guy could ever dream of having, even if the Queen does like to mess in everyone's personal affairs.

When my birthday comes, inexact though it may be, I'll be turning 45. I've gotten to the point where my hair is more grey than it is brown, though Trowa still keeps a full head of hair with only a strand or two of white that I'm certain I've caused.

I can think back to my childhood, and even the good days were never so good as this, while the bad days were worse than anything I can think of now. I am happy, and I never thought I'd be allowed to have happiness. But I'm glad that I was led to it, for I certainly wouldn't have found it on my own.

The wars have now truly ended. For the past 5 years, there have been no terrorism incidents on Earth, the colonies, or any of the terraformed areas. The crime rate is lower than anything on record. And I'm honestly happy, just as I've been happy since... since about six months before I got married. 

It seems worth it now. I think back to Treize Khushrenada and his plans for it all, and I have to admit that he was right. Everyone wanted some easy fix, and he saw ahead to how it had to go, and he made the right things happen, even after he died. I visit Wufei on the anniversary of Treize's death every year and we get smashed on a couple of bottles of wine of a newer vintage than Treize probably would have partaken of, but a similar style nonetheless. We always get advice from Lady Une on which kind to buy, and she always has us buy a bottle for her, as well. I can only imagine that she has a similar sort of ritual. I've heard she goes to drink with Dorothy, but the rumors can never be confirmed. If they're true, I can only imagine that Relena had something to do with it.

When Relena had her 21st birthday, she admitted to me that she used to stand on cliffsides yelling for me to come and kill her. I'm glad I didn't listen then, just as I'm glad I learned to listen.

Times change, and I've changed with them, but I'm happy. And happiness is the only thing I ever remember feeling was out of reach. When I reached it, it didn't feel as though there was somehow something better out there. I just felt fulfilled, and happy, and that hasn't changed. My life is everything I thought it would never be. And I have to remember to buy Relena a new teddy bear. But I won't buy her a card. She'll just tear it up and throw it in the air, and pregnant women shouldn't have to bend down to pick things up... and I've given Duo enough grief in life that he shouldn't have to do it either.


End file.
